I haven't written a movie review in a while. I've reviewed a bunch of games lately, but no films. I guess I was waiting for a movie that stirred me, something that got me going, got me excited or inspired me. Chronicle is that movie.
Max Landis, the screenwriter, is the son of John Landis, the murderer. John Landis is the reason we no longer have Vic Morrow, by way of The Twilight Zone film produced by Spielberg and Zemeckis back in the 80's. Well, Max is out to do his own thing in Hollywood, and if Chronicle is any indication of what's to come, I, for one, am very excited.
Chronicle tells the story of Andrew, a high school outcast in his home town with few friends (his cousin is the closest thing), who, while at a barn rave one night, is summoned by his cousin and his cousin's friend, Steven (both seniors in high school themselves) out to a remote area in the woods near the rave.
While out in those woods, they stumble upon a hole, that upon venturing into, turns out to house what I'm guessing is some sort of alien rock or craft that bestows upon the three young men the incredible powers of telekinesis as well as light telepathy. Now, this sort of film would have been so easy to screw up, however; director Josh Trank has a veritable goldmine to work with in the form of Landis' script.
Superheroes and those with super-powered abilities are a mixed bag. Superman is hard to pull off on film. Bryan Singer and Richard Donner's takes are loved by some, hated by others. Christopher Nolan has hit a grand slam with his interpretation of Batman, where Joel Schumacher failed miserably.
The difficult aspect in terms of superheroes is how to get an audience to care. Approaching Superman, for example, is nearly impossible in that he's totally invincible. You can't hurt the man of steel with any conventional weapons or through combat, so Singer opted to go for his heart and utilize Krytonite in the form of an entire continent that he must levitate in order to save the citizens of Metropolis. A Herculean task to say the least.
Batman is a human being, with legitimate faults. He's a deeply scarred psychopath who prowls the night for purse snatchers because his parents were cut down by a thug in the night. Batman's greatest nemesis is psychology in a lot of ways in that Bruce Wayne wants to be a normal dude and enjoy his life, whereas Batman is always who he truly is, yet the two can't coexist. Duality is a common aspect of the modern super hero film.
Such is not the case with Chronicle. There's no talk of "hey, maybe we can save people with our powers" or "we have to use these gifts for good". Nope. Instead, these young men use their powers how young men would use their powers. They blow girls' skirts up. They use their abilities to wow their friends. Andrew fights back against his tormentors at school.
They fly. They make plans to fly across the world, more specifically, to Tibet, to further their abilities with monks in the mountains. A noble goal that may have led to eventual heroics.
Unfortunately, this future does not come to pass. I don't want to spoil anything, but those who've seen the trailer, you can tell that one of the three friends clearly goes off the reservation with his powers. I can't say I disagree with his motivations. This is a person who has been treated like shit his entire life by his drunk father, has a dying mother, and is the ridicule of his classmates.
He's Dylan Klebold with telekinesis.
There's been a lot of talk of a live-action adaptation of Akira, which is regarded as the "Citizen Kane of anime" (which in my opinion may be a little overblown, though I worship creator Katsuhiro Otomo). With Chronicle, I don't need an Akira live-action adaptation. The film's psychically-powered finale is something built up in the trailer, but is so much better on-screen, to discuss it in detail would be a disservice.
Chronicle is, thus far, my favorite film of 2012. In what could be the first year I only go to the movies to see super hero films (Spider-Man, Batman, The Avengers all hit the screen at some point this year), Chronicle is the perfect kickoff for the super hero season, and may prove to be the finest film of the bunch.
I give Chronicle a perfect score - 5 out of 5 rage-filled teens using their powers for no good.
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Shouldn't have left you without a dope beat to step to.
Sorry I haven't written since September. I'm not dead, contrary to what has been written about me.
Just kidding, no one has been writing that.
I have, however; been insanely busy with Nice Guy Games and work. I'm happy about both. Our first title, Defend The Jungle! is coming along nicely, with some programming snags here and there.
Anyways, that's about it. Stay tuned, I'll be writing more!
Just kidding, no one has been writing that.
I have, however; been insanely busy with Nice Guy Games and work. I'm happy about both. Our first title, Defend The Jungle! is coming along nicely, with some programming snags here and there.
Anyways, that's about it. Stay tuned, I'll be writing more!
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Ten
I was in high school when 9/11 happened. A senior. Specifically, I was in Economics, listening to leather-faced Mr. Loverro drone on about concepts that no one will retain two months after escaping his classroom. This was a teacher who simply was out of steam. A guy who kept a picture of his in-construction hideaway home in upstate New York on his desk where a normal person kept a picture of their wife or kids or whatever.
He wasn't the nicest guy. He just didn't care anymore. A decade earlier, this was different, as my sister had him, and was a fan of his style of teaching. To me, he was like an angry Italian alligator, with a bratty son who, for whatever reason, went to my high school, as well.
That said, he made the very first joke about 9/11 I ever heard. That very morning. It wasn't Gilbert Gottfried and some woman in the audience shouting "Too soon!"
It was a brown, shriveled old man saying "Well, I guess those people didn't see that coming ..." and he laughed to himself.
My fiance is watching E! News showing famous people talking about where they were when 9/11 happened. Marion Cottilard was in Paris. Matt Damon was in his "apartment" and went outside and saw it happen.
Elisha Cuthbert is spouting words of wisdom. So is Snoop Dogg.
How heartwarming.
I had nightmares for weeks after it happened. Images of being in one of the towers, on a lower floor, and looking out the window and seeing a plane strike above me, hitting the opposite tower. I remember being scared. I remember being sweaty.
Of course, I wasn't there. I was in high school. But these dreams were strong, they were vivid, and I've always wondered if they weren't some kind of "remote viewing" or something like that. I don't know if I necessarily believe in all that paranormal mumbo-jumbo, but it's hard to rationalize something that seems so real, though you have no actual frame of reference for it happening.
In the time following 9/11, for a couple years, I guess, I had a chip on my shoulder any time anyone would mention 9/11 or remotely joke about it. I would get pretty pissed. Now, I joke about everything. My mantra would later become "if we can't laugh, then the terrorists have already won". I'm not one to joke about 9/11 all day long or anything like that, but if Seth McFarlane, a guy who would have died in the attacks can joke about it, then that gives the rest of the witty world the green light to joke about, too.
Loose Change is a documentary that will either make you think or make you laugh. I still don't know if I understand the title of the doc, but it was pretty impressive stuff. Seeing blasting caps from the rubble of the WTC, for example. Powerful evidence for the argument of "Bush did 9/11" or "whoever" did 9/11, whatever the scapegoat of the week is.
We wouldn't have my all-time favorite TV show without 9/11. "Rescue Me" is a gritty and beautiful urban black comedy set against a post-9/11 backdrop. Denis Leary has cashed in some of his finest performances on that show. And he has aided in softening my hatred of the Red Sox, as he is from Boston.
I don't know how I feel, 10 years later. My generation was initially called "The 9/11 Generation", but we're now "The Facebook Generation", and I can stomach the latter more than the former. I feel nothing when I think about 9/11.
Not in the sense that I'm a monster and am not sad for all the people and families of loved ones who died, but when I think of the events, I think of the possibilities that could have come from it. The artwork. The material. The unity that was gone one short year later. The bonuses and raises NYPD and FDNY should have gotten but didn't. As if being an NYPD or FDNY officer wasn't hard enough already. Those guys should be the highest paid civil servants on the planet to begin with, let alone for having the balls to run towards and into a collapsing building when everyone else is running away.
Instead, Suffolk and Nassau cops are the highest paid. For busting kids smoking weed in the woods. And giving tickets. That's bravery in Long Island's eyes.
I guess I feel nervous. It's a decade later. I'm older (and more handsome every day, thank you very much), not much wiser. Engaged to an amazing girl. Moved into our apartment, more or less. Have a job I love. One part-time job I like. And a part-time job/passion that I love almost as much as my fiance.
Things are okay right now.
Things felt okay 10 years ago, too.
He wasn't the nicest guy. He just didn't care anymore. A decade earlier, this was different, as my sister had him, and was a fan of his style of teaching. To me, he was like an angry Italian alligator, with a bratty son who, for whatever reason, went to my high school, as well.
That said, he made the very first joke about 9/11 I ever heard. That very morning. It wasn't Gilbert Gottfried and some woman in the audience shouting "Too soon!"
It was a brown, shriveled old man saying "Well, I guess those people didn't see that coming ..." and he laughed to himself.
My fiance is watching E! News showing famous people talking about where they were when 9/11 happened. Marion Cottilard was in Paris. Matt Damon was in his "apartment" and went outside and saw it happen.
Elisha Cuthbert is spouting words of wisdom. So is Snoop Dogg.
How heartwarming.
I had nightmares for weeks after it happened. Images of being in one of the towers, on a lower floor, and looking out the window and seeing a plane strike above me, hitting the opposite tower. I remember being scared. I remember being sweaty.
Of course, I wasn't there. I was in high school. But these dreams were strong, they were vivid, and I've always wondered if they weren't some kind of "remote viewing" or something like that. I don't know if I necessarily believe in all that paranormal mumbo-jumbo, but it's hard to rationalize something that seems so real, though you have no actual frame of reference for it happening.
In the time following 9/11, for a couple years, I guess, I had a chip on my shoulder any time anyone would mention 9/11 or remotely joke about it. I would get pretty pissed. Now, I joke about everything. My mantra would later become "if we can't laugh, then the terrorists have already won". I'm not one to joke about 9/11 all day long or anything like that, but if Seth McFarlane, a guy who would have died in the attacks can joke about it, then that gives the rest of the witty world the green light to joke about, too.
Loose Change is a documentary that will either make you think or make you laugh. I still don't know if I understand the title of the doc, but it was pretty impressive stuff. Seeing blasting caps from the rubble of the WTC, for example. Powerful evidence for the argument of "Bush did 9/11" or "whoever" did 9/11, whatever the scapegoat of the week is.
We wouldn't have my all-time favorite TV show without 9/11. "Rescue Me" is a gritty and beautiful urban black comedy set against a post-9/11 backdrop. Denis Leary has cashed in some of his finest performances on that show. And he has aided in softening my hatred of the Red Sox, as he is from Boston.
I don't know how I feel, 10 years later. My generation was initially called "The 9/11 Generation", but we're now "The Facebook Generation", and I can stomach the latter more than the former. I feel nothing when I think about 9/11.
Not in the sense that I'm a monster and am not sad for all the people and families of loved ones who died, but when I think of the events, I think of the possibilities that could have come from it. The artwork. The material. The unity that was gone one short year later. The bonuses and raises NYPD and FDNY should have gotten but didn't. As if being an NYPD or FDNY officer wasn't hard enough already. Those guys should be the highest paid civil servants on the planet to begin with, let alone for having the balls to run towards and into a collapsing building when everyone else is running away.
Instead, Suffolk and Nassau cops are the highest paid. For busting kids smoking weed in the woods. And giving tickets. That's bravery in Long Island's eyes.
I guess I feel nervous. It's a decade later. I'm older (and more handsome every day, thank you very much), not much wiser. Engaged to an amazing girl. Moved into our apartment, more or less. Have a job I love. One part-time job I like. And a part-time job/passion that I love almost as much as my fiance.
Things are okay right now.
Things felt okay 10 years ago, too.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Nice Guy Games is LIVE!
Nice Guy Games is a real thing. I've been sitting on this for a little while now, as my partner and I, Miles, have been hammering this label together slowly. Now, the parts are assembled, contracts are signed, and we are about to go into production on our first title, a very fun and charming tower defense title we're calling Defend The Jungle.
The team we've assembled are really fantastic, super talented, and fit the model that we at Nice Guy are striving for. Every game we produce will have a portion of its proceeds go to charity, which is something we all feel incredibly strongly about.
The website above is very raw, and is in Wordpress, but it gets the basics down. We've got artwork coming in the following weeks that will spice up the site, as well as give those who are interested in Defend The Jungle a taste of what's in store.
The game is set to be released on the Xbox Live Indie Games platform, with a potential for iOS/Droid/Windows Phone in the future.
The game is a take on the decades-long "preserve the rain forest" concept in which the player is tasked with preserving the last strip of the rain forest from corporate greed.
Stay tuned for more!
The team we've assembled are really fantastic, super talented, and fit the model that we at Nice Guy are striving for. Every game we produce will have a portion of its proceeds go to charity, which is something we all feel incredibly strongly about.
The website above is very raw, and is in Wordpress, but it gets the basics down. We've got artwork coming in the following weeks that will spice up the site, as well as give those who are interested in Defend The Jungle a taste of what's in store.
The game is set to be released on the Xbox Live Indie Games platform, with a potential for iOS/Droid/Windows Phone in the future.
The game is a take on the decades-long "preserve the rain forest" concept in which the player is tasked with preserving the last strip of the rain forest from corporate greed.
Stay tuned for more!
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Welcome back, coffee, you seductive mistress of flavor and caffeine.
Let it first be known that I haven't had coffee since President Bush was in office.
This one:
Now, as a young lad, I would have the occasional cup with my mom in the mornings. We'd talk about the latest poop (who pushed who on the playground, what Ninja Turtle was the coolest at that time, whether or not I was going to get a Sega Genesis that Christmas, etc.), and sip java from mugs with little images or locations on them (a picture of Snoopy one day, a mug from some lodge in Pennsylvania, the next).
Then, one day, I just stopped drinking coffee. I decided I didn't like the taste and that was it. Onto harder substances like cocaine and Special K and the occasional mainlining of heroin directly into the vein between my two smallest toes.
That said, it has been forever and a day since I've had any kind of "hard drugs". Christ, I haven't even smoked weed in like ... two and a half years. Right before I met my fiance', actually.
Well, on Monday, I was so exhausted and beat down at work, I needed a pick me up. Sauntering into the "cafe", I found myself staring at a metallic pot of freshly-brewed coffee. It smelled like coffee. The pot itself was hot as the fires of desire.
Grabbing a small, stylish pseudo-styrofoam cup, I pressed the spigot of the pot and watched as the nearly-black liquid began spilling over itself. My mind began racing with excitement, as it had been over a decade since my last journey to Java Mountain. I remembered sitting in my tighty-whitey underwear (you're welcome), watching the Ghostbusters cartoon and sipping from a large mug, while eating Nintendo cereal.
I poured in some fat free half and half (not even really knowing what half and half is, let alone what makes it fat free compared to regular half and half), then scooped in three small spoonfuls of sugar (because just one spoonful helps the medicine go down).
I grabbed a red stirrer from a large box that had Staples' unmistakable brand logo on it, and stirred slowly, the half and half magically smoking up through the black void in my cup, turning black to a soft-brown.
When I placed the cup to my lips and took that first steaming-hot sip, as the coffee entered my system, it felt like a chorus of beautiful sound and color had reawakened in my brain. Colors once forgotten are now burned into my soul forever.
Like these opening credits (to a shitty movie).
Without warning, my entire body lurched and woke from its two-decade old slumber. Everything was more sharp, more vibrant.
I was awakened.
So now, I pray at the altar of the coffee bean at least five times a day at work. I drink it from nine in the morning until eleven, while doing my work (getting more done, too, it would seem), and then, it's a non-stop ride to oblivion the rest of the day, fueled by caffeine, coffee, and the magic of a Columbian bean.
This one:
Now, as a young lad, I would have the occasional cup with my mom in the mornings. We'd talk about the latest poop (who pushed who on the playground, what Ninja Turtle was the coolest at that time, whether or not I was going to get a Sega Genesis that Christmas, etc.), and sip java from mugs with little images or locations on them (a picture of Snoopy one day, a mug from some lodge in Pennsylvania, the next).
Then, one day, I just stopped drinking coffee. I decided I didn't like the taste and that was it. Onto harder substances like cocaine and Special K and the occasional mainlining of heroin directly into the vein between my two smallest toes.
That said, it has been forever and a day since I've had any kind of "hard drugs". Christ, I haven't even smoked weed in like ... two and a half years. Right before I met my fiance', actually.
Well, on Monday, I was so exhausted and beat down at work, I needed a pick me up. Sauntering into the "cafe", I found myself staring at a metallic pot of freshly-brewed coffee. It smelled like coffee. The pot itself was hot as the fires of desire.
Grabbing a small, stylish pseudo-styrofoam cup, I pressed the spigot of the pot and watched as the nearly-black liquid began spilling over itself. My mind began racing with excitement, as it had been over a decade since my last journey to Java Mountain. I remembered sitting in my tighty-whitey underwear (you're welcome), watching the Ghostbusters cartoon and sipping from a large mug, while eating Nintendo cereal.
I poured in some fat free half and half (not even really knowing what half and half is, let alone what makes it fat free compared to regular half and half), then scooped in three small spoonfuls of sugar (because just one spoonful helps the medicine go down).
I grabbed a red stirrer from a large box that had Staples' unmistakable brand logo on it, and stirred slowly, the half and half magically smoking up through the black void in my cup, turning black to a soft-brown.
When I placed the cup to my lips and took that first steaming-hot sip, as the coffee entered my system, it felt like a chorus of beautiful sound and color had reawakened in my brain. Colors once forgotten are now burned into my soul forever.
Like these opening credits (to a shitty movie).
Without warning, my entire body lurched and woke from its two-decade old slumber. Everything was more sharp, more vibrant.
I was awakened.
So now, I pray at the altar of the coffee bean at least five times a day at work. I drink it from nine in the morning until eleven, while doing my work (getting more done, too, it would seem), and then, it's a non-stop ride to oblivion the rest of the day, fueled by caffeine, coffee, and the magic of a Columbian bean.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Review: Thor
I am in complete and utter amazement that this movie turned out so fantastic.
I guess, in all reality, I just went in with such impossibly low expectations (not saying Kenneth Branagh is a shit filmmaker or anything like that), I just ... I am not a Thor fan. I never cared much for the God of Thunder, nor did I give much of a damn about Asgard or any of that stuff growing up. I was a realistic comic fan. I put my faith in a teenage boy bitten by a radioactive spider. An orphaned billionaire with murdered parents and a demented psyche. A solar-powered last son of a destroyed planet.
Never a God. Especially not one of Thunder.
But I'll be damned if this isn't the best Marvel film to date. Of course, this is all opinion, however; I absolutely adored Thor for all its mayhem and action and romance and Asgard and Tony Hopkins (his friends call him Tony) and easily the finest Marvel villain ever committed to celluloid.
Never before have I rooted for Marvel's often cheesy lineup of supervillains on screen. Sure, I may have giggled at the Green Goblin in the first Spiderman film, or loved how Tim Roth chewed the scenery in The Incredible Hulk, but in Thor, Tom Hiddleston delivers a game-changer.
An honest-to-God, James Cameron-esque game-changing performance as Thor's half-brother, Loki. I will admit, I am not 100% on my Thor comic history. I'm more familiar with Beta Ray-Bill, as well as seeing Thor kick ass alongside Captain America and the rest of the Avengers.
What I do know about the comics is that Loki is the master of manipulation, and they execute this perfectly in the film. I'll be happy to see Loki return as the villain in The Avengers, if that is indeed the case. Pulling the strings behind whatever conflict The Avengers tackle is certainly reason alone, provided that Hiddleston returns to the role. Anyone less simply would not do.
Natalie Portman is gorgeous. There has been a lot of shit in the reviews about her and Thor's love being "forced" or "quick". I, personally, don't buy that. It seems more like a giddy fascination than it does love. She sees him as the human embodiment of her work and thus, falls in love with him, and he sees something in her that changes him, like all men who change for their women.
I have certainly warmed to chick flicks since meeting my match.
The Hawkeye cameo works. Watching Jeremy Renner, bow in hand, working for SHIELD got my blood pumping and has me incredibly excited to see him next in The Avengers, which is currently filming about forty minutes from my home, and yet, I have not gone to the set, if only to glimpse Mark Ruffalo and his weirdly-kissable lips ...
I couldn't recommend seeing Thor more. I would avoid 3D, as my eyes feel like they want out of my head, however, IMAX is a way to go. I saw it in IMAX 3D, and other than the snow falling in some scenes, the 3D just wasn't all that impressive for me.
See the movie. However you can, however you want. It fucking rocks.
Bring on Captain America: The First Avenger now, please.
Never a God. Especially not one of Thunder.
But I'll be damned if this isn't the best Marvel film to date. Of course, this is all opinion, however; I absolutely adored Thor for all its mayhem and action and romance and Asgard and Tony Hopkins (his friends call him Tony) and easily the finest Marvel villain ever committed to celluloid.
An honest-to-God, James Cameron-esque game-changing performance as Thor's half-brother, Loki. I will admit, I am not 100% on my Thor comic history. I'm more familiar with Beta Ray-Bill, as well as seeing Thor kick ass alongside Captain America and the rest of the Avengers.
What I do know about the comics is that Loki is the master of manipulation, and they execute this perfectly in the film. I'll be happy to see Loki return as the villain in The Avengers, if that is indeed the case. Pulling the strings behind whatever conflict The Avengers tackle is certainly reason alone, provided that Hiddleston returns to the role. Anyone less simply would not do.
Natalie Portman is gorgeous. There has been a lot of shit in the reviews about her and Thor's love being "forced" or "quick". I, personally, don't buy that. It seems more like a giddy fascination than it does love. She sees him as the human embodiment of her work and thus, falls in love with him, and he sees something in her that changes him, like all men who change for their women.
I have certainly warmed to chick flicks since meeting my match.
The Hawkeye cameo works. Watching Jeremy Renner, bow in hand, working for SHIELD got my blood pumping and has me incredibly excited to see him next in The Avengers, which is currently filming about forty minutes from my home, and yet, I have not gone to the set, if only to glimpse Mark Ruffalo and his weirdly-kissable lips ...
I couldn't recommend seeing Thor more. I would avoid 3D, as my eyes feel like they want out of my head, however, IMAX is a way to go. I saw it in IMAX 3D, and other than the snow falling in some scenes, the 3D just wasn't all that impressive for me.
See the movie. However you can, however you want. It fucking rocks.
Bring on Captain America: The First Avenger now, please.
Friday, April 1, 2011
There was a hole here once ... but now it's gone ...
The other day, I was singing in my car and perfected my Violent Femmes impression.
So now I add the lead singer of the Violent Femmes to my Ian Curtis, Dennis DeYoung, Brandon Flowers, Morrissey, and Paul Banks impressions.
Woot for screwing around with my voice enough to sound like different people! Lol, yeesh.
I've always felt I would make a kick-ass front man for a band. I'd like to try that at some point. That should be a goal. To sing lead vocals in a band at least once in my life. Even karaoke would do, really, but only if it was a song I dig.
I should've gone into voice acting. All these accents and voice changing skills only lead to two avenues: International super spy or voice actor.
In closing, here is Mark Hamill and Kevin Conroy doing their Joker and Batman voices, respectively.
So now I add the lead singer of the Violent Femmes to my Ian Curtis, Dennis DeYoung, Brandon Flowers, Morrissey, and Paul Banks impressions.
Woot for screwing around with my voice enough to sound like different people! Lol, yeesh.
I've always felt I would make a kick-ass front man for a band. I'd like to try that at some point. That should be a goal. To sing lead vocals in a band at least once in my life. Even karaoke would do, really, but only if it was a song I dig.
I should've gone into voice acting. All these accents and voice changing skills only lead to two avenues: International super spy or voice actor.
In closing, here is Mark Hamill and Kevin Conroy doing their Joker and Batman voices, respectively.
Monday, March 21, 2011
And there was a time and a place for things, and neither of which are now or here ...
I have recently begun playing this game. And I have also begun thinking about groups I would like to join.
I don't know where my obsession with the supernatural (not a real obsession, if I'm honest, more like a passing one that fuels my creativity in ways unimaginable) comes from these days. Sitting in my office, at night, listening to Akira Yamaoka's "Theme Of Laura" from Silent Hill 2: Restless Dreams (you really owe it to yourself to watch that trailer) always seems to wake up that creepy stirring in my heart.
I love horror. Good, old-fashioned, Victorian-era ghost stories, 70's-era slasher films, modern-day J-Horror, and of course, good, old-fashioned, American-style frightfests.
I remember reading a quote by Richard Matheson saying that though he didn't believe in the stuff himself, it never prevented him from writing about it. I guess horror and science fiction holds so many possibilities to expand on one's imagination and move out of a comfort zone that it's hard to not want to partake in the genre.
Scary stuff is good. Very good. The world is full of horrific violence and tragedies, yet, so many look to entertainment as a form of escapism, which is what entertainment, literature, film, whatever, that's what it's for. To provide an escape.
Horror movies and stories are always pooped on by everyone for being base and low-brow, however; I never felt that way. I always wore my badge of honor for horror flicks and stories.
Horror movies are blamed for violence every day in our society. I say boo to that. Unhinged individuals committing murders are no more influenced by pop culture than government officials influenced by classic war films.
I don't know where my obsession with the supernatural (not a real obsession, if I'm honest, more like a passing one that fuels my creativity in ways unimaginable) comes from these days. Sitting in my office, at night, listening to Akira Yamaoka's "Theme Of Laura" from Silent Hill 2: Restless Dreams (you really owe it to yourself to watch that trailer) always seems to wake up that creepy stirring in my heart.
I love horror. Good, old-fashioned, Victorian-era ghost stories, 70's-era slasher films, modern-day J-Horror, and of course, good, old-fashioned, American-style frightfests.
I remember reading a quote by Richard Matheson saying that though he didn't believe in the stuff himself, it never prevented him from writing about it. I guess horror and science fiction holds so many possibilities to expand on one's imagination and move out of a comfort zone that it's hard to not want to partake in the genre.
Scary stuff is good. Very good. The world is full of horrific violence and tragedies, yet, so many look to entertainment as a form of escapism, which is what entertainment, literature, film, whatever, that's what it's for. To provide an escape.
Horror movies and stories are always pooped on by everyone for being base and low-brow, however; I never felt that way. I always wore my badge of honor for horror flicks and stories.
Horror movies are blamed for violence every day in our society. I say boo to that. Unhinged individuals committing murders are no more influenced by pop culture than government officials influenced by classic war films.
Friday, March 4, 2011
The frustrations of game development, chapter 1: Knee Deep In Singapore ...
Just recently, a video game I worked on, Avalis Dungeon, was released on the XBOX 360. Gamers have given it a solid 4/5 rating, whereas on-line reviews and word has not been kind. Totally understandable, the game is interesting, has great artwork, but overall, it's the first entry to a larger story, so I fully understand why people may be frustrated by the lack of character and overall story development.
Or whatever.
That said, I receive the analytics from the dude who hired me, a very level-headed Frenchman named Louis. Every day, I pour over the sales results of the game I was lucky enough to work on, and while the game itself seems to be selling pretty well (priced at 240 Microsoft points, the equivelent of three actual dollars) with one notable country not purchasing more than one copy.
Singapore. How is this possible? Anime-inspired graphics, an over-the-top, highly sexualized story and characters not selling in a country known for cleanliness and censorship?
Certainly this is an abberation.
One sale in Singapore. I salute you, one man who plays Avalis Dungeon. I salute you, mightily. Thank you for buying our game. You may not even be a man. You may be a woman. Still, thank you for buying our game. Spread the word. I get ten percent of the game's sales.
Or whatever.
That said, I receive the analytics from the dude who hired me, a very level-headed Frenchman named Louis. Every day, I pour over the sales results of the game I was lucky enough to work on, and while the game itself seems to be selling pretty well (priced at 240 Microsoft points, the equivelent of three actual dollars) with one notable country not purchasing more than one copy.
Singapore. How is this possible? Anime-inspired graphics, an over-the-top, highly sexualized story and characters not selling in a country known for cleanliness and censorship?
Certainly this is an abberation.
One sale in Singapore. I salute you, one man who plays Avalis Dungeon. I salute you, mightily. Thank you for buying our game. You may not even be a man. You may be a woman. Still, thank you for buying our game. Spread the word. I get ten percent of the game's sales.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
The Internet is A Coal Mine And I Get Dirtier Every Day ...
I'm actively seeking the following kind of job that may or may not exist:
Writed/Editor - Long Island Office
Requirements: Must know the words to "Baker Street" by Gerry Raferty, can recite every line of Ghostbusters, with proper inflection, must love David Fincher, must have a working knowledge of how the Flux Capacitor works ("It makes time travel possible ..." will suffice), must love animals, Bachelor's in English.
I've been writing every day for the various blogs and news sites I "work" for, but at the same time, I'm not really seeing any money, or, at least, I'm not seeing any money yet.
My fiance' laid down the law last night that if I don't get my shit together within four months, I may no longer have a fiance'.
Added pressure on top of pressure to lose weight (I've lost 24 or 25 pounds thus far, in about two weeks), bills, and pressure about moving into my future (potential) in-laws' apartment in their house, all makes me feel super-stressed and nervous and generally unsure about most things.
Except the fact that I can write. I write my ass off every day. For next to nothing. I have projects I know I'll see a payday from, but as of right now, I have nothing.
In the months to come, I may not even have a fiance'.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Daddy want sushi!
In all seriousness, this looks like a dream come true. I want a tower of sushi.
Monday, February 14, 2011
This movie looks so perfect I may cry while watching it ...
Submarine
Directed By
Richard Ayoade, one of my heroes.
This must be seen! Now the quest to find a theatre showing it begins!
Directed By
This must be seen! Now the quest to find a theatre showing it begins!
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Inspiring Confidence ...
Is this a normal thing?
Peeking into the car, I noticed there were some wires and whatnot hanging out of the stereo area, possibly NOS? Then again, why would it be in the stereo area?
Suffice to say, should you or a loved one find yourselves in the passenger-side seat of this car, I would heartily recommend gripping tightly to the fire extinguisher, as this does not inspire confidence in not blowing up.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
And as things fell apart, nobody paid much attention ...
I haven't had much to write about these past few days, in that, my life has taken a dramatic turn down "Boredom Lane", which is where old ideas and hastily-put together projects go to die.
I've been working on various projects, writing a lot, and attempting to lose weight, which is always a struggle. I wonder if people have trouble gaining weight in the same way I have trouble losing it and keeping it off.
I've been listening to a lot of Maria Bamford, one of the funniest people on Earth. This has proven both inspiring and disheartening because I'll never be as funny as she is. Or at least, not in the same way.
I guess I just feel very down, or very negative, and it has a lot to do with the constant carrot in my face of "here it is, just take it" compared to the reality that the carrot is actually a shotgun aimed squarely at my nose.
I feel like this advice, courtesy of Advice Dog himself, is the way to act, basically, all day, lately:
I've been working on various projects, writing a lot, and attempting to lose weight, which is always a struggle. I wonder if people have trouble gaining weight in the same way I have trouble losing it and keeping it off.
I've been listening to a lot of Maria Bamford, one of the funniest people on Earth. This has proven both inspiring and disheartening because I'll never be as funny as she is. Or at least, not in the same way.
I guess I just feel very down, or very negative, and it has a lot to do with the constant carrot in my face of "here it is, just take it" compared to the reality that the carrot is actually a shotgun aimed squarely at my nose.
I feel like this advice, courtesy of Advice Dog himself, is the way to act, basically, all day, lately:
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Mass Effect movie fan-wank!
In my wildest dreams, Mass Effect is a film I'd give anything to write, produce, and direct. Alongside Shenmue, this is a game that translates so well cinematically, it's almost too perfect.
I decided to geek out a bit and do a dream-cast list of people I'd like to see in this movie. Now, many of you will know who certain people are, and others will have no clue about some of them. At the same time, being a fan of the game series helps, as well as being a movie fan.
Without further ado, my fan-wank casting call for Mass Effect the movie:
Matthew Fox for Commander Shepard. He embodies the character perfectly, he's a fine actor, and he's just coming off a science fiction franchise on television ("Lost"). The guy is too good not to have another franchise to take over. Mass Effect could be that franchise.
Kaley Cuoco or Camilla Belle for Liara T'Soni. Liara would be one of the potential love interests for our hero, Shepard, and as you can see, she's lovely. Both of these ladies are attractive, one is older than the other, yet the younger (Belle) has more of a Liara vibe than Kaley, but Kaley is the better performer.
Brandon Keener as Garrus Vakarian, a heroic ally to Shepard who wants no more than to see the villain fall, any means necessary. Keener plays Garrus in the game, already, and considering this is obviously a prosthetic-heavy character on screen, Keener's voice is the important part of the performance.
Steve Barr, the voice actor for the in-game character of Urdnot Wrex, a warrior who fights with lethal abandon. Again, this could be a heavy prosthetic character, utilizing traditional puppet-work. It could also work as a fully CG character, which I wouldn't want, but, whatever, it'd probably be cheaper.
Another actor from the game, Liz Sroka, the vocal performer for Tali. Again, this is a costume-heavy performance, so there's no need to replace the actor. Tali would look amazing on-screen, as her outfit is quite detailed.
Steve Zahn for Kaiden Alenko, a powerful biotic (person who can utilize psychic abilities through military training) and human ally. Alenko has been called "plain, white bread" by many fans of the game, however; Zahn would be anything but, on-screen. The guy's funny, can bring physicality, and is a fine performer.
Greta Gerwig as Ashley Williams, the "space racist". Another potential love-interest for Fox's Shepard, Gerwig is a great actress who is poised to be huge. She's attractive, and with proper gun-training, can be as badass as Williams.
Patrick Wilson for the villain of the piece, Saren. The same species as Garrus, a Turian, and a complete monster, capable of committing horrifying acts of treason against the galactic community. Patrick Wilson just plain rocks and would be an amazing bad guy, when given the right character and material.
So that's basically it. A bunch of great actors and performers playing a bunch of great characters from an amazing video game franchise.
Without further ado, my fan-wank casting call for Mass Effect the movie:
Brandon Keener as Garrus Vakarian, a heroic ally to Shepard who wants no more than to see the villain fall, any means necessary. Keener plays Garrus in the game, already, and considering this is obviously a prosthetic-heavy character on screen, Keener's voice is the important part of the performance.
Steve Zahn for Kaiden Alenko, a powerful biotic (person who can utilize psychic abilities through military training) and human ally. Alenko has been called "plain, white bread" by many fans of the game, however; Zahn would be anything but, on-screen. The guy's funny, can bring physicality, and is a fine performer.
Greta Gerwig as Ashley Williams, the "space racist". Another potential love-interest for Fox's Shepard, Gerwig is a great actress who is poised to be huge. She's attractive, and with proper gun-training, can be as badass as Williams.
So that's basically it. A bunch of great actors and performers playing a bunch of great characters from an amazing video game franchise.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Getting older.
I wake up every night. Usually between 4-6 AM, sometimes because of the cat scratching in his litter box, but recently, I've just been waking up.
However, I find that I must use the facilities every single night.
Out of concern for my recent urinary development, I emailed myself the following statement:
"The worst thing about getting older is waking up to piss every night with regularity."
I realize of course that I should stop drinking sometime around seven in the evening, however; I simply never remember to do this. I also wonder how many people will find my trouble with having to wake up and pee an interesting read.
Surely I'm not the only person who has discovered that his bladder has taken on the properties of a 75 year old woman?
I see diapers in my future. Lots of 'em. Maybe I'll just wear them before bedtime. Who knows? I hate waking up and trucking across the room, across the hall, and going potty.
One day, I may just pee out the window.
However, I find that I must use the facilities every single night.
Out of concern for my recent urinary development, I emailed myself the following statement:
"The worst thing about getting older is waking up to piss every night with regularity."
I realize of course that I should stop drinking sometime around seven in the evening, however; I simply never remember to do this. I also wonder how many people will find my trouble with having to wake up and pee an interesting read.
Surely I'm not the only person who has discovered that his bladder has taken on the properties of a 75 year old woman?
I see diapers in my future. Lots of 'em. Maybe I'll just wear them before bedtime. Who knows? I hate waking up and trucking across the room, across the hall, and going potty.
One day, I may just pee out the window.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
The ballsiest cover letter I've ever written.
Below is a cover letter I recently wrote to apply for a job I'm very interested in. I don't know what came over me when I wrote this, however; this might be the finest cover letter in the history of cover letters.
I've removed the company's name and replaced it with my favorite kind of sandwich.
-----
Hello,
I can't help but get excited about this cover letter. It's not often that I get thrilled about writing these. Usually, one relies on the standard "Hello, this is information about myself" stuff, however; I feel the need to be myself here. I love the approach of bologna and cheese sandwich. I love the concept. I took a look at the site and knew that this is a place where my writing could be featured. I've attached some of my published works, including a semi-autobiographical tale of my attempt to pick up two women in a bar near Central Park.
I feel like I'm perfect for this position, in that my writing flows in a similar manner to some of the articles I took a look at. Very witty, funny, yet interesting at the same time.
I've been freelancing since graduating from college, and while I love the companies and bosses I work for, I would much prefer something a tad more steady. I'm engaged, and while traditionally, planning a wedding falls on the lady in the relationship, I 'd like to take the reigns a bit more.
I also have a blog I update every day, on top of the freelancing. It's just something I write for fun, to keep myself sharp when the gigs are dried up.
You mentioned in the ad that I should include a salary requirement. At my previous full-time job (with a local sports team), I was making $27,000, which was fine.
Bottom line, I would love to write for your site. I would love to wear a lot of hats. I own quite a few. I could always use a few more.
Even if it's a "No thank you", I hope to hear from you.
Thank you very much,
- Robert P. Ottone
------
I truly hope to hear back. If they write back something funny, I'll post it here.
I've removed the company's name and replaced it with my favorite kind of sandwich.
-----
Hello,
I can't help but get excited about this cover letter. It's not often that I get thrilled about writing these. Usually, one relies on the standard "Hello, this is information about myself" stuff, however; I feel the need to be myself here. I love the approach of bologna and cheese sandwich. I love the concept. I took a look at the site and knew that this is a place where my writing could be featured. I've attached some of my published works, including a semi-autobiographical tale of my attempt to pick up two women in a bar near Central Park.
I feel like I'm perfect for this position, in that my writing flows in a similar manner to some of the articles I took a look at. Very witty, funny, yet interesting at the same time.
I've been freelancing since graduating from college, and while I love the companies and bosses I work for, I would much prefer something a tad more steady. I'm engaged, and while traditionally, planning a wedding falls on the lady in the relationship, I 'd like to take the reigns a bit more.
I also have a blog I update every day, on top of the freelancing. It's just something I write for fun, to keep myself sharp when the gigs are dried up.
You mentioned in the ad that I should include a salary requirement. At my previous full-time job (with a local sports team), I was making $27,000, which was fine.
Bottom line, I would love to write for your site. I would love to wear a lot of hats. I own quite a few. I could always use a few more.
Even if it's a "No thank you", I hope to hear from you.
Thank you very much,
- Robert P. Ottone
------
I truly hope to hear back. If they write back something funny, I'll post it here.
Friday, January 28, 2011
The Life Of A Writer ...
Who comes up with the most pretentious titles imaginable? This guy.
This really has almost nothing to do with the so-called "Life Of A Writer", so much as it does with An Unemployed Writer Who Only Wants To Write But Can't Because There's No Money In It.
I recently joined a freelance writing site, and the bids for jobs that I would do are astoundingly high. Even when I try to undercut my fellow unemployed writers by taking a few hundred dollars off the lowest bid, I can't because there are apparently rules to bidding.
Every day, I sit at this desk, write (various things; scripts, video game freelance work, etc.) and I stare at this (poor quality picture ahead):
That's a bottle of antacids next to stacks of books that are supposedly geared toward helping me sell my screenplays. And Watchmen by Alan Moore.
Spoiler Alert: They don't work.
This really has almost nothing to do with the so-called "Life Of A Writer", so much as it does with An Unemployed Writer Who Only Wants To Write But Can't Because There's No Money In It.
I recently joined a freelance writing site, and the bids for jobs that I would do are astoundingly high. Even when I try to undercut my fellow unemployed writers by taking a few hundred dollars off the lowest bid, I can't because there are apparently rules to bidding.
Every day, I sit at this desk, write (various things; scripts, video game freelance work, etc.) and I stare at this (poor quality picture ahead):
Spoiler Alert: They don't work.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Saving "Reach"!
Last night, I made it a semi-late night after having dinner with my beautiful fiance and our friend Ryan, who is a fantastic vocalist, dancer, and performer. We played some games, Karaoke Revolution, for example.
The turning point of the night, however; was when Ryan admitted he was a "Halo" virgin. Not accepting this, I popped in Halo: Reach, arguably the best game in the franchise. We made it through a bunch of levels, Ryan getting progressively better (he's a fairly vicious sniper, I must say), until finally, with exhaustion, we gave up right as The Covenant began striking back at the UNSC's facilities on Reach, much to Jorge's dismay.
Oh, Jorge. I love you.
Anyways, it was nice popping Ryan's gaming cherry. He's a solid player, and hopefully, we'll be able to finish the campaign together.
The turning point of the night, however; was when Ryan admitted he was a "Halo" virgin. Not accepting this, I popped in Halo: Reach, arguably the best game in the franchise. We made it through a bunch of levels, Ryan getting progressively better (he's a fairly vicious sniper, I must say), until finally, with exhaustion, we gave up right as The Covenant began striking back at the UNSC's facilities on Reach, much to Jorge's dismay.
Anyways, it was nice popping Ryan's gaming cherry. He's a solid player, and hopefully, we'll be able to finish the campaign together.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
The Company Men ...
The Company Men
Written and Directed by John Wells
This movie pulled me in different ways. On the one hand, I adore the cast. On the other, I hate corporate stooges. Which is what everyone in this movie is. Except for Kevin Costner, who is a blue-collar hero in the truest sense, a role he should play more often.
I found myself simply not caring about any of these somewhat selfish men in suits. These are the enemy, as far as I'm concerned, and while that is purely my hippy side coming out and raging against Corporate America, I am also jealous of the things these guys have. Porches. Huge houses. High-paying jobs.
I'm a writer, for God's sake. Unless I come up with something that makes me the next Stephen King, I'm always going to be middle of the road, money-wise. Right now, my job situation sucks, so my complete lack of care that Ben Affleck, with his $850,000 house and Porsche has lost his job means nothing to me.
Another character, Chris Cooper, a 30-year corporate vet, loses his job and is facing difficult monetary times. If you work somewhere for thirty years and are living beyond your means without a few years of cushion to help you should you find yourself expendable, then that's your problem, I'm sorry.
Finding jobs is not easy. This movie points that out. I'd give anything to have had my beautiful fiance' with me to show how shitty the job market is right now, if only to get her to understand what I go through every day. I would never compare my abilities to that of someone as highly trained as Ben Affleck's character and his MBA and 12 years of corporate experience, however; I can relate to the young guys trying to make their way.
It's hard for me to rate this movie. My knee-jerk, anti-corporate reaction is to pan it, but the acting and overall story is fantastic.
I'll go middle of the road and hand it three out of five stars.
Written and Directed by John Wells
This movie pulled me in different ways. On the one hand, I adore the cast. On the other, I hate corporate stooges. Which is what everyone in this movie is. Except for Kevin Costner, who is a blue-collar hero in the truest sense, a role he should play more often.
I found myself simply not caring about any of these somewhat selfish men in suits. These are the enemy, as far as I'm concerned, and while that is purely my hippy side coming out and raging against Corporate America, I am also jealous of the things these guys have. Porches. Huge houses. High-paying jobs.
I'm a writer, for God's sake. Unless I come up with something that makes me the next Stephen King, I'm always going to be middle of the road, money-wise. Right now, my job situation sucks, so my complete lack of care that Ben Affleck, with his $850,000 house and Porsche has lost his job means nothing to me.
Another character, Chris Cooper, a 30-year corporate vet, loses his job and is facing difficult monetary times. If you work somewhere for thirty years and are living beyond your means without a few years of cushion to help you should you find yourself expendable, then that's your problem, I'm sorry.
Finding jobs is not easy. This movie points that out. I'd give anything to have had my beautiful fiance' with me to show how shitty the job market is right now, if only to get her to understand what I go through every day. I would never compare my abilities to that of someone as highly trained as Ben Affleck's character and his MBA and 12 years of corporate experience, however; I can relate to the young guys trying to make their way.
It's hard for me to rate this movie. My knee-jerk, anti-corporate reaction is to pan it, but the acting and overall story is fantastic.
I'll go middle of the road and hand it three out of five stars.
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