Tuesday, February 1, 2011

The ballsiest cover letter I've ever written.

Below is a cover letter I recently wrote to apply for a job I'm very interested in. I don't know what came over me when I wrote this, however; this might be the finest cover letter in the history of cover letters.

I've removed the company's name and replaced it with my favorite kind of sandwich.

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Hello,

I can't help but get excited about this cover letter. It's not often that I get thrilled about writing these. Usually, one relies on the standard "Hello, this is information about myself" stuff, however; I feel the need to be myself here. I love the approach of bologna and cheese sandwich. I love the concept. I took a look at the site and knew that this is a place where my writing could be featured. I've attached some of my published works, including a semi-autobiographical tale of my attempt to pick up two women in a bar near Central Park.

I feel like I'm perfect for this position, in that my writing flows in a similar manner to some of the articles I took a look at. Very witty, funny, yet interesting at the same time.

I've been freelancing since graduating from college, and while I love the companies and bosses I work for, I would much prefer something a tad more steady. I'm engaged, and while traditionally, planning a wedding falls on the lady in the relationship, I 'd like to take the reigns a bit more.

I also have a blog I update every day, on top of the freelancing. It's just something I write for fun, to keep myself sharp when the gigs are dried up.

You mentioned in the ad that I should include a salary requirement. At my previous full-time job (with a local sports team), I was making $27,000, which was fine.

Bottom line, I would love to write for your site. I would love to wear a lot of hats. I own quite a few. I could always use a few more.

Even if it's a "No thank you", I hope to hear from you.

Thank you very much,

- Robert P. Ottone

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I truly hope to hear back. If they write back something funny, I'll post it here.

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