Sorry I haven't written since September. I'm not dead, contrary to what has been written about me.
Just kidding, no one has been writing that.
I have, however; been insanely busy with Nice Guy Games and work. I'm happy about both. Our first title, Defend The Jungle! is coming along nicely, with some programming snags here and there.
Anyways, that's about it. Stay tuned, I'll be writing more!
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Ten
I was in high school when 9/11 happened. A senior. Specifically, I was in Economics, listening to leather-faced Mr. Loverro drone on about concepts that no one will retain two months after escaping his classroom. This was a teacher who simply was out of steam. A guy who kept a picture of his in-construction hideaway home in upstate New York on his desk where a normal person kept a picture of their wife or kids or whatever.
He wasn't the nicest guy. He just didn't care anymore. A decade earlier, this was different, as my sister had him, and was a fan of his style of teaching. To me, he was like an angry Italian alligator, with a bratty son who, for whatever reason, went to my high school, as well.
That said, he made the very first joke about 9/11 I ever heard. That very morning. It wasn't Gilbert Gottfried and some woman in the audience shouting "Too soon!"
It was a brown, shriveled old man saying "Well, I guess those people didn't see that coming ..." and he laughed to himself.
My fiance is watching E! News showing famous people talking about where they were when 9/11 happened. Marion Cottilard was in Paris. Matt Damon was in his "apartment" and went outside and saw it happen.
Elisha Cuthbert is spouting words of wisdom. So is Snoop Dogg.
How heartwarming.
I had nightmares for weeks after it happened. Images of being in one of the towers, on a lower floor, and looking out the window and seeing a plane strike above me, hitting the opposite tower. I remember being scared. I remember being sweaty.
Of course, I wasn't there. I was in high school. But these dreams were strong, they were vivid, and I've always wondered if they weren't some kind of "remote viewing" or something like that. I don't know if I necessarily believe in all that paranormal mumbo-jumbo, but it's hard to rationalize something that seems so real, though you have no actual frame of reference for it happening.
In the time following 9/11, for a couple years, I guess, I had a chip on my shoulder any time anyone would mention 9/11 or remotely joke about it. I would get pretty pissed. Now, I joke about everything. My mantra would later become "if we can't laugh, then the terrorists have already won". I'm not one to joke about 9/11 all day long or anything like that, but if Seth McFarlane, a guy who would have died in the attacks can joke about it, then that gives the rest of the witty world the green light to joke about, too.
Loose Change is a documentary that will either make you think or make you laugh. I still don't know if I understand the title of the doc, but it was pretty impressive stuff. Seeing blasting caps from the rubble of the WTC, for example. Powerful evidence for the argument of "Bush did 9/11" or "whoever" did 9/11, whatever the scapegoat of the week is.
We wouldn't have my all-time favorite TV show without 9/11. "Rescue Me" is a gritty and beautiful urban black comedy set against a post-9/11 backdrop. Denis Leary has cashed in some of his finest performances on that show. And he has aided in softening my hatred of the Red Sox, as he is from Boston.
I don't know how I feel, 10 years later. My generation was initially called "The 9/11 Generation", but we're now "The Facebook Generation", and I can stomach the latter more than the former. I feel nothing when I think about 9/11.
Not in the sense that I'm a monster and am not sad for all the people and families of loved ones who died, but when I think of the events, I think of the possibilities that could have come from it. The artwork. The material. The unity that was gone one short year later. The bonuses and raises NYPD and FDNY should have gotten but didn't. As if being an NYPD or FDNY officer wasn't hard enough already. Those guys should be the highest paid civil servants on the planet to begin with, let alone for having the balls to run towards and into a collapsing building when everyone else is running away.
Instead, Suffolk and Nassau cops are the highest paid. For busting kids smoking weed in the woods. And giving tickets. That's bravery in Long Island's eyes.
I guess I feel nervous. It's a decade later. I'm older (and more handsome every day, thank you very much), not much wiser. Engaged to an amazing girl. Moved into our apartment, more or less. Have a job I love. One part-time job I like. And a part-time job/passion that I love almost as much as my fiance.
Things are okay right now.
Things felt okay 10 years ago, too.
He wasn't the nicest guy. He just didn't care anymore. A decade earlier, this was different, as my sister had him, and was a fan of his style of teaching. To me, he was like an angry Italian alligator, with a bratty son who, for whatever reason, went to my high school, as well.
That said, he made the very first joke about 9/11 I ever heard. That very morning. It wasn't Gilbert Gottfried and some woman in the audience shouting "Too soon!"
It was a brown, shriveled old man saying "Well, I guess those people didn't see that coming ..." and he laughed to himself.
My fiance is watching E! News showing famous people talking about where they were when 9/11 happened. Marion Cottilard was in Paris. Matt Damon was in his "apartment" and went outside and saw it happen.
Elisha Cuthbert is spouting words of wisdom. So is Snoop Dogg.
How heartwarming.
I had nightmares for weeks after it happened. Images of being in one of the towers, on a lower floor, and looking out the window and seeing a plane strike above me, hitting the opposite tower. I remember being scared. I remember being sweaty.
Of course, I wasn't there. I was in high school. But these dreams were strong, they were vivid, and I've always wondered if they weren't some kind of "remote viewing" or something like that. I don't know if I necessarily believe in all that paranormal mumbo-jumbo, but it's hard to rationalize something that seems so real, though you have no actual frame of reference for it happening.
In the time following 9/11, for a couple years, I guess, I had a chip on my shoulder any time anyone would mention 9/11 or remotely joke about it. I would get pretty pissed. Now, I joke about everything. My mantra would later become "if we can't laugh, then the terrorists have already won". I'm not one to joke about 9/11 all day long or anything like that, but if Seth McFarlane, a guy who would have died in the attacks can joke about it, then that gives the rest of the witty world the green light to joke about, too.
Loose Change is a documentary that will either make you think or make you laugh. I still don't know if I understand the title of the doc, but it was pretty impressive stuff. Seeing blasting caps from the rubble of the WTC, for example. Powerful evidence for the argument of "Bush did 9/11" or "whoever" did 9/11, whatever the scapegoat of the week is.
We wouldn't have my all-time favorite TV show without 9/11. "Rescue Me" is a gritty and beautiful urban black comedy set against a post-9/11 backdrop. Denis Leary has cashed in some of his finest performances on that show. And he has aided in softening my hatred of the Red Sox, as he is from Boston.
I don't know how I feel, 10 years later. My generation was initially called "The 9/11 Generation", but we're now "The Facebook Generation", and I can stomach the latter more than the former. I feel nothing when I think about 9/11.
Not in the sense that I'm a monster and am not sad for all the people and families of loved ones who died, but when I think of the events, I think of the possibilities that could have come from it. The artwork. The material. The unity that was gone one short year later. The bonuses and raises NYPD and FDNY should have gotten but didn't. As if being an NYPD or FDNY officer wasn't hard enough already. Those guys should be the highest paid civil servants on the planet to begin with, let alone for having the balls to run towards and into a collapsing building when everyone else is running away.
Instead, Suffolk and Nassau cops are the highest paid. For busting kids smoking weed in the woods. And giving tickets. That's bravery in Long Island's eyes.
I guess I feel nervous. It's a decade later. I'm older (and more handsome every day, thank you very much), not much wiser. Engaged to an amazing girl. Moved into our apartment, more or less. Have a job I love. One part-time job I like. And a part-time job/passion that I love almost as much as my fiance.
Things are okay right now.
Things felt okay 10 years ago, too.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Nice Guy Games is LIVE!
Nice Guy Games is a real thing. I've been sitting on this for a little while now, as my partner and I, Miles, have been hammering this label together slowly. Now, the parts are assembled, contracts are signed, and we are about to go into production on our first title, a very fun and charming tower defense title we're calling Defend The Jungle.
The team we've assembled are really fantastic, super talented, and fit the model that we at Nice Guy are striving for. Every game we produce will have a portion of its proceeds go to charity, which is something we all feel incredibly strongly about.
The website above is very raw, and is in Wordpress, but it gets the basics down. We've got artwork coming in the following weeks that will spice up the site, as well as give those who are interested in Defend The Jungle a taste of what's in store.
The game is set to be released on the Xbox Live Indie Games platform, with a potential for iOS/Droid/Windows Phone in the future.
The game is a take on the decades-long "preserve the rain forest" concept in which the player is tasked with preserving the last strip of the rain forest from corporate greed.
Stay tuned for more!
The team we've assembled are really fantastic, super talented, and fit the model that we at Nice Guy are striving for. Every game we produce will have a portion of its proceeds go to charity, which is something we all feel incredibly strongly about.
The website above is very raw, and is in Wordpress, but it gets the basics down. We've got artwork coming in the following weeks that will spice up the site, as well as give those who are interested in Defend The Jungle a taste of what's in store.
The game is set to be released on the Xbox Live Indie Games platform, with a potential for iOS/Droid/Windows Phone in the future.
The game is a take on the decades-long "preserve the rain forest" concept in which the player is tasked with preserving the last strip of the rain forest from corporate greed.
Stay tuned for more!
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Welcome back, coffee, you seductive mistress of flavor and caffeine.
Let it first be known that I haven't had coffee since President Bush was in office.
This one:
Now, as a young lad, I would have the occasional cup with my mom in the mornings. We'd talk about the latest poop (who pushed who on the playground, what Ninja Turtle was the coolest at that time, whether or not I was going to get a Sega Genesis that Christmas, etc.), and sip java from mugs with little images or locations on them (a picture of Snoopy one day, a mug from some lodge in Pennsylvania, the next).
Then, one day, I just stopped drinking coffee. I decided I didn't like the taste and that was it. Onto harder substances like cocaine and Special K and the occasional mainlining of heroin directly into the vein between my two smallest toes.
That said, it has been forever and a day since I've had any kind of "hard drugs". Christ, I haven't even smoked weed in like ... two and a half years. Right before I met my fiance', actually.
Well, on Monday, I was so exhausted and beat down at work, I needed a pick me up. Sauntering into the "cafe", I found myself staring at a metallic pot of freshly-brewed coffee. It smelled like coffee. The pot itself was hot as the fires of desire.
Grabbing a small, stylish pseudo-styrofoam cup, I pressed the spigot of the pot and watched as the nearly-black liquid began spilling over itself. My mind began racing with excitement, as it had been over a decade since my last journey to Java Mountain. I remembered sitting in my tighty-whitey underwear (you're welcome), watching the Ghostbusters cartoon and sipping from a large mug, while eating Nintendo cereal.
I poured in some fat free half and half (not even really knowing what half and half is, let alone what makes it fat free compared to regular half and half), then scooped in three small spoonfuls of sugar (because just one spoonful helps the medicine go down).
I grabbed a red stirrer from a large box that had Staples' unmistakable brand logo on it, and stirred slowly, the half and half magically smoking up through the black void in my cup, turning black to a soft-brown.
When I placed the cup to my lips and took that first steaming-hot sip, as the coffee entered my system, it felt like a chorus of beautiful sound and color had reawakened in my brain. Colors once forgotten are now burned into my soul forever.
Like these opening credits (to a shitty movie).
Without warning, my entire body lurched and woke from its two-decade old slumber. Everything was more sharp, more vibrant.
I was awakened.
So now, I pray at the altar of the coffee bean at least five times a day at work. I drink it from nine in the morning until eleven, while doing my work (getting more done, too, it would seem), and then, it's a non-stop ride to oblivion the rest of the day, fueled by caffeine, coffee, and the magic of a Columbian bean.
This one:
Now, as a young lad, I would have the occasional cup with my mom in the mornings. We'd talk about the latest poop (who pushed who on the playground, what Ninja Turtle was the coolest at that time, whether or not I was going to get a Sega Genesis that Christmas, etc.), and sip java from mugs with little images or locations on them (a picture of Snoopy one day, a mug from some lodge in Pennsylvania, the next).
Then, one day, I just stopped drinking coffee. I decided I didn't like the taste and that was it. Onto harder substances like cocaine and Special K and the occasional mainlining of heroin directly into the vein between my two smallest toes.
That said, it has been forever and a day since I've had any kind of "hard drugs". Christ, I haven't even smoked weed in like ... two and a half years. Right before I met my fiance', actually.
Well, on Monday, I was so exhausted and beat down at work, I needed a pick me up. Sauntering into the "cafe", I found myself staring at a metallic pot of freshly-brewed coffee. It smelled like coffee. The pot itself was hot as the fires of desire.
Grabbing a small, stylish pseudo-styrofoam cup, I pressed the spigot of the pot and watched as the nearly-black liquid began spilling over itself. My mind began racing with excitement, as it had been over a decade since my last journey to Java Mountain. I remembered sitting in my tighty-whitey underwear (you're welcome), watching the Ghostbusters cartoon and sipping from a large mug, while eating Nintendo cereal.
I poured in some fat free half and half (not even really knowing what half and half is, let alone what makes it fat free compared to regular half and half), then scooped in three small spoonfuls of sugar (because just one spoonful helps the medicine go down).
I grabbed a red stirrer from a large box that had Staples' unmistakable brand logo on it, and stirred slowly, the half and half magically smoking up through the black void in my cup, turning black to a soft-brown.
When I placed the cup to my lips and took that first steaming-hot sip, as the coffee entered my system, it felt like a chorus of beautiful sound and color had reawakened in my brain. Colors once forgotten are now burned into my soul forever.
Like these opening credits (to a shitty movie).
Without warning, my entire body lurched and woke from its two-decade old slumber. Everything was more sharp, more vibrant.
I was awakened.
So now, I pray at the altar of the coffee bean at least five times a day at work. I drink it from nine in the morning until eleven, while doing my work (getting more done, too, it would seem), and then, it's a non-stop ride to oblivion the rest of the day, fueled by caffeine, coffee, and the magic of a Columbian bean.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Review: Thor
I am in complete and utter amazement that this movie turned out so fantastic.
I guess, in all reality, I just went in with such impossibly low expectations (not saying Kenneth Branagh is a shit filmmaker or anything like that), I just ... I am not a Thor fan. I never cared much for the God of Thunder, nor did I give much of a damn about Asgard or any of that stuff growing up. I was a realistic comic fan. I put my faith in a teenage boy bitten by a radioactive spider. An orphaned billionaire with murdered parents and a demented psyche. A solar-powered last son of a destroyed planet.
Never a God. Especially not one of Thunder.
But I'll be damned if this isn't the best Marvel film to date. Of course, this is all opinion, however; I absolutely adored Thor for all its mayhem and action and romance and Asgard and Tony Hopkins (his friends call him Tony) and easily the finest Marvel villain ever committed to celluloid.
Never before have I rooted for Marvel's often cheesy lineup of supervillains on screen. Sure, I may have giggled at the Green Goblin in the first Spiderman film, or loved how Tim Roth chewed the scenery in The Incredible Hulk, but in Thor, Tom Hiddleston delivers a game-changer.
An honest-to-God, James Cameron-esque game-changing performance as Thor's half-brother, Loki. I will admit, I am not 100% on my Thor comic history. I'm more familiar with Beta Ray-Bill, as well as seeing Thor kick ass alongside Captain America and the rest of the Avengers.
What I do know about the comics is that Loki is the master of manipulation, and they execute this perfectly in the film. I'll be happy to see Loki return as the villain in The Avengers, if that is indeed the case. Pulling the strings behind whatever conflict The Avengers tackle is certainly reason alone, provided that Hiddleston returns to the role. Anyone less simply would not do.
Natalie Portman is gorgeous. There has been a lot of shit in the reviews about her and Thor's love being "forced" or "quick". I, personally, don't buy that. It seems more like a giddy fascination than it does love. She sees him as the human embodiment of her work and thus, falls in love with him, and he sees something in her that changes him, like all men who change for their women.
I have certainly warmed to chick flicks since meeting my match.
The Hawkeye cameo works. Watching Jeremy Renner, bow in hand, working for SHIELD got my blood pumping and has me incredibly excited to see him next in The Avengers, which is currently filming about forty minutes from my home, and yet, I have not gone to the set, if only to glimpse Mark Ruffalo and his weirdly-kissable lips ...
I couldn't recommend seeing Thor more. I would avoid 3D, as my eyes feel like they want out of my head, however, IMAX is a way to go. I saw it in IMAX 3D, and other than the snow falling in some scenes, the 3D just wasn't all that impressive for me.
See the movie. However you can, however you want. It fucking rocks.
Bring on Captain America: The First Avenger now, please.
Never a God. Especially not one of Thunder.
But I'll be damned if this isn't the best Marvel film to date. Of course, this is all opinion, however; I absolutely adored Thor for all its mayhem and action and romance and Asgard and Tony Hopkins (his friends call him Tony) and easily the finest Marvel villain ever committed to celluloid.
An honest-to-God, James Cameron-esque game-changing performance as Thor's half-brother, Loki. I will admit, I am not 100% on my Thor comic history. I'm more familiar with Beta Ray-Bill, as well as seeing Thor kick ass alongside Captain America and the rest of the Avengers.
What I do know about the comics is that Loki is the master of manipulation, and they execute this perfectly in the film. I'll be happy to see Loki return as the villain in The Avengers, if that is indeed the case. Pulling the strings behind whatever conflict The Avengers tackle is certainly reason alone, provided that Hiddleston returns to the role. Anyone less simply would not do.
Natalie Portman is gorgeous. There has been a lot of shit in the reviews about her and Thor's love being "forced" or "quick". I, personally, don't buy that. It seems more like a giddy fascination than it does love. She sees him as the human embodiment of her work and thus, falls in love with him, and he sees something in her that changes him, like all men who change for their women.
I have certainly warmed to chick flicks since meeting my match.
The Hawkeye cameo works. Watching Jeremy Renner, bow in hand, working for SHIELD got my blood pumping and has me incredibly excited to see him next in The Avengers, which is currently filming about forty minutes from my home, and yet, I have not gone to the set, if only to glimpse Mark Ruffalo and his weirdly-kissable lips ...
I couldn't recommend seeing Thor more. I would avoid 3D, as my eyes feel like they want out of my head, however, IMAX is a way to go. I saw it in IMAX 3D, and other than the snow falling in some scenes, the 3D just wasn't all that impressive for me.
See the movie. However you can, however you want. It fucking rocks.
Bring on Captain America: The First Avenger now, please.
Friday, April 1, 2011
There was a hole here once ... but now it's gone ...
The other day, I was singing in my car and perfected my Violent Femmes impression.
So now I add the lead singer of the Violent Femmes to my Ian Curtis, Dennis DeYoung, Brandon Flowers, Morrissey, and Paul Banks impressions.
Woot for screwing around with my voice enough to sound like different people! Lol, yeesh.
I've always felt I would make a kick-ass front man for a band. I'd like to try that at some point. That should be a goal. To sing lead vocals in a band at least once in my life. Even karaoke would do, really, but only if it was a song I dig.
I should've gone into voice acting. All these accents and voice changing skills only lead to two avenues: International super spy or voice actor.
In closing, here is Mark Hamill and Kevin Conroy doing their Joker and Batman voices, respectively.
So now I add the lead singer of the Violent Femmes to my Ian Curtis, Dennis DeYoung, Brandon Flowers, Morrissey, and Paul Banks impressions.
Woot for screwing around with my voice enough to sound like different people! Lol, yeesh.
I've always felt I would make a kick-ass front man for a band. I'd like to try that at some point. That should be a goal. To sing lead vocals in a band at least once in my life. Even karaoke would do, really, but only if it was a song I dig.
I should've gone into voice acting. All these accents and voice changing skills only lead to two avenues: International super spy or voice actor.
In closing, here is Mark Hamill and Kevin Conroy doing their Joker and Batman voices, respectively.
Monday, March 21, 2011
And there was a time and a place for things, and neither of which are now or here ...
I have recently begun playing this game. And I have also begun thinking about groups I would like to join.
I don't know where my obsession with the supernatural (not a real obsession, if I'm honest, more like a passing one that fuels my creativity in ways unimaginable) comes from these days. Sitting in my office, at night, listening to Akira Yamaoka's "Theme Of Laura" from Silent Hill 2: Restless Dreams (you really owe it to yourself to watch that trailer) always seems to wake up that creepy stirring in my heart.
I love horror. Good, old-fashioned, Victorian-era ghost stories, 70's-era slasher films, modern-day J-Horror, and of course, good, old-fashioned, American-style frightfests.
I remember reading a quote by Richard Matheson saying that though he didn't believe in the stuff himself, it never prevented him from writing about it. I guess horror and science fiction holds so many possibilities to expand on one's imagination and move out of a comfort zone that it's hard to not want to partake in the genre.
Scary stuff is good. Very good. The world is full of horrific violence and tragedies, yet, so many look to entertainment as a form of escapism, which is what entertainment, literature, film, whatever, that's what it's for. To provide an escape.
Horror movies and stories are always pooped on by everyone for being base and low-brow, however; I never felt that way. I always wore my badge of honor for horror flicks and stories.
Horror movies are blamed for violence every day in our society. I say boo to that. Unhinged individuals committing murders are no more influenced by pop culture than government officials influenced by classic war films.
I don't know where my obsession with the supernatural (not a real obsession, if I'm honest, more like a passing one that fuels my creativity in ways unimaginable) comes from these days. Sitting in my office, at night, listening to Akira Yamaoka's "Theme Of Laura" from Silent Hill 2: Restless Dreams (you really owe it to yourself to watch that trailer) always seems to wake up that creepy stirring in my heart.
I love horror. Good, old-fashioned, Victorian-era ghost stories, 70's-era slasher films, modern-day J-Horror, and of course, good, old-fashioned, American-style frightfests.
I remember reading a quote by Richard Matheson saying that though he didn't believe in the stuff himself, it never prevented him from writing about it. I guess horror and science fiction holds so many possibilities to expand on one's imagination and move out of a comfort zone that it's hard to not want to partake in the genre.
Scary stuff is good. Very good. The world is full of horrific violence and tragedies, yet, so many look to entertainment as a form of escapism, which is what entertainment, literature, film, whatever, that's what it's for. To provide an escape.
Horror movies and stories are always pooped on by everyone for being base and low-brow, however; I never felt that way. I always wore my badge of honor for horror flicks and stories.
Horror movies are blamed for violence every day in our society. I say boo to that. Unhinged individuals committing murders are no more influenced by pop culture than government officials influenced by classic war films.
Friday, March 4, 2011
The frustrations of game development, chapter 1: Knee Deep In Singapore ...
Just recently, a video game I worked on, Avalis Dungeon, was released on the XBOX 360. Gamers have given it a solid 4/5 rating, whereas on-line reviews and word has not been kind. Totally understandable, the game is interesting, has great artwork, but overall, it's the first entry to a larger story, so I fully understand why people may be frustrated by the lack of character and overall story development.
Or whatever.
That said, I receive the analytics from the dude who hired me, a very level-headed Frenchman named Louis. Every day, I pour over the sales results of the game I was lucky enough to work on, and while the game itself seems to be selling pretty well (priced at 240 Microsoft points, the equivelent of three actual dollars) with one notable country not purchasing more than one copy.
Singapore. How is this possible? Anime-inspired graphics, an over-the-top, highly sexualized story and characters not selling in a country known for cleanliness and censorship?
Certainly this is an abberation.
One sale in Singapore. I salute you, one man who plays Avalis Dungeon. I salute you, mightily. Thank you for buying our game. You may not even be a man. You may be a woman. Still, thank you for buying our game. Spread the word. I get ten percent of the game's sales.
Or whatever.
That said, I receive the analytics from the dude who hired me, a very level-headed Frenchman named Louis. Every day, I pour over the sales results of the game I was lucky enough to work on, and while the game itself seems to be selling pretty well (priced at 240 Microsoft points, the equivelent of three actual dollars) with one notable country not purchasing more than one copy.
Singapore. How is this possible? Anime-inspired graphics, an over-the-top, highly sexualized story and characters not selling in a country known for cleanliness and censorship?
Certainly this is an abberation.
One sale in Singapore. I salute you, one man who plays Avalis Dungeon. I salute you, mightily. Thank you for buying our game. You may not even be a man. You may be a woman. Still, thank you for buying our game. Spread the word. I get ten percent of the game's sales.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
The Internet is A Coal Mine And I Get Dirtier Every Day ...
I'm actively seeking the following kind of job that may or may not exist:
Writed/Editor - Long Island Office
Requirements: Must know the words to "Baker Street" by Gerry Raferty, can recite every line of Ghostbusters, with proper inflection, must love David Fincher, must have a working knowledge of how the Flux Capacitor works ("It makes time travel possible ..." will suffice), must love animals, Bachelor's in English.
I've been writing every day for the various blogs and news sites I "work" for, but at the same time, I'm not really seeing any money, or, at least, I'm not seeing any money yet.
My fiance' laid down the law last night that if I don't get my shit together within four months, I may no longer have a fiance'.
Added pressure on top of pressure to lose weight (I've lost 24 or 25 pounds thus far, in about two weeks), bills, and pressure about moving into my future (potential) in-laws' apartment in their house, all makes me feel super-stressed and nervous and generally unsure about most things.
Except the fact that I can write. I write my ass off every day. For next to nothing. I have projects I know I'll see a payday from, but as of right now, I have nothing.
In the months to come, I may not even have a fiance'.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Daddy want sushi!
In all seriousness, this looks like a dream come true. I want a tower of sushi.
Monday, February 14, 2011
This movie looks so perfect I may cry while watching it ...
Submarine
Directed By
Richard Ayoade, one of my heroes.
This must be seen! Now the quest to find a theatre showing it begins!
Directed By
This must be seen! Now the quest to find a theatre showing it begins!
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Inspiring Confidence ...
Is this a normal thing?
Peeking into the car, I noticed there were some wires and whatnot hanging out of the stereo area, possibly NOS? Then again, why would it be in the stereo area?
Suffice to say, should you or a loved one find yourselves in the passenger-side seat of this car, I would heartily recommend gripping tightly to the fire extinguisher, as this does not inspire confidence in not blowing up.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
And as things fell apart, nobody paid much attention ...
I haven't had much to write about these past few days, in that, my life has taken a dramatic turn down "Boredom Lane", which is where old ideas and hastily-put together projects go to die.
I've been working on various projects, writing a lot, and attempting to lose weight, which is always a struggle. I wonder if people have trouble gaining weight in the same way I have trouble losing it and keeping it off.
I've been listening to a lot of Maria Bamford, one of the funniest people on Earth. This has proven both inspiring and disheartening because I'll never be as funny as she is. Or at least, not in the same way.
I guess I just feel very down, or very negative, and it has a lot to do with the constant carrot in my face of "here it is, just take it" compared to the reality that the carrot is actually a shotgun aimed squarely at my nose.
I feel like this advice, courtesy of Advice Dog himself, is the way to act, basically, all day, lately:
I've been working on various projects, writing a lot, and attempting to lose weight, which is always a struggle. I wonder if people have trouble gaining weight in the same way I have trouble losing it and keeping it off.
I've been listening to a lot of Maria Bamford, one of the funniest people on Earth. This has proven both inspiring and disheartening because I'll never be as funny as she is. Or at least, not in the same way.
I guess I just feel very down, or very negative, and it has a lot to do with the constant carrot in my face of "here it is, just take it" compared to the reality that the carrot is actually a shotgun aimed squarely at my nose.
I feel like this advice, courtesy of Advice Dog himself, is the way to act, basically, all day, lately:
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Mass Effect movie fan-wank!
In my wildest dreams, Mass Effect is a film I'd give anything to write, produce, and direct. Alongside Shenmue, this is a game that translates so well cinematically, it's almost too perfect.
I decided to geek out a bit and do a dream-cast list of people I'd like to see in this movie. Now, many of you will know who certain people are, and others will have no clue about some of them. At the same time, being a fan of the game series helps, as well as being a movie fan.
Without further ado, my fan-wank casting call for Mass Effect the movie:
Matthew Fox for Commander Shepard. He embodies the character perfectly, he's a fine actor, and he's just coming off a science fiction franchise on television ("Lost"). The guy is too good not to have another franchise to take over. Mass Effect could be that franchise.
Kaley Cuoco or Camilla Belle for Liara T'Soni. Liara would be one of the potential love interests for our hero, Shepard, and as you can see, she's lovely. Both of these ladies are attractive, one is older than the other, yet the younger (Belle) has more of a Liara vibe than Kaley, but Kaley is the better performer.
Brandon Keener as Garrus Vakarian, a heroic ally to Shepard who wants no more than to see the villain fall, any means necessary. Keener plays Garrus in the game, already, and considering this is obviously a prosthetic-heavy character on screen, Keener's voice is the important part of the performance.
Steve Barr, the voice actor for the in-game character of Urdnot Wrex, a warrior who fights with lethal abandon. Again, this could be a heavy prosthetic character, utilizing traditional puppet-work. It could also work as a fully CG character, which I wouldn't want, but, whatever, it'd probably be cheaper.
Another actor from the game, Liz Sroka, the vocal performer for Tali. Again, this is a costume-heavy performance, so there's no need to replace the actor. Tali would look amazing on-screen, as her outfit is quite detailed.
Steve Zahn for Kaiden Alenko, a powerful biotic (person who can utilize psychic abilities through military training) and human ally. Alenko has been called "plain, white bread" by many fans of the game, however; Zahn would be anything but, on-screen. The guy's funny, can bring physicality, and is a fine performer.
Greta Gerwig as Ashley Williams, the "space racist". Another potential love-interest for Fox's Shepard, Gerwig is a great actress who is poised to be huge. She's attractive, and with proper gun-training, can be as badass as Williams.
Patrick Wilson for the villain of the piece, Saren. The same species as Garrus, a Turian, and a complete monster, capable of committing horrifying acts of treason against the galactic community. Patrick Wilson just plain rocks and would be an amazing bad guy, when given the right character and material.
So that's basically it. A bunch of great actors and performers playing a bunch of great characters from an amazing video game franchise.
Without further ado, my fan-wank casting call for Mass Effect the movie:
Brandon Keener as Garrus Vakarian, a heroic ally to Shepard who wants no more than to see the villain fall, any means necessary. Keener plays Garrus in the game, already, and considering this is obviously a prosthetic-heavy character on screen, Keener's voice is the important part of the performance.
Steve Zahn for Kaiden Alenko, a powerful biotic (person who can utilize psychic abilities through military training) and human ally. Alenko has been called "plain, white bread" by many fans of the game, however; Zahn would be anything but, on-screen. The guy's funny, can bring physicality, and is a fine performer.
Greta Gerwig as Ashley Williams, the "space racist". Another potential love-interest for Fox's Shepard, Gerwig is a great actress who is poised to be huge. She's attractive, and with proper gun-training, can be as badass as Williams.
So that's basically it. A bunch of great actors and performers playing a bunch of great characters from an amazing video game franchise.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Getting older.
I wake up every night. Usually between 4-6 AM, sometimes because of the cat scratching in his litter box, but recently, I've just been waking up.
However, I find that I must use the facilities every single night.
Out of concern for my recent urinary development, I emailed myself the following statement:
"The worst thing about getting older is waking up to piss every night with regularity."
I realize of course that I should stop drinking sometime around seven in the evening, however; I simply never remember to do this. I also wonder how many people will find my trouble with having to wake up and pee an interesting read.
Surely I'm not the only person who has discovered that his bladder has taken on the properties of a 75 year old woman?
I see diapers in my future. Lots of 'em. Maybe I'll just wear them before bedtime. Who knows? I hate waking up and trucking across the room, across the hall, and going potty.
One day, I may just pee out the window.
However, I find that I must use the facilities every single night.
Out of concern for my recent urinary development, I emailed myself the following statement:
"The worst thing about getting older is waking up to piss every night with regularity."
I realize of course that I should stop drinking sometime around seven in the evening, however; I simply never remember to do this. I also wonder how many people will find my trouble with having to wake up and pee an interesting read.
Surely I'm not the only person who has discovered that his bladder has taken on the properties of a 75 year old woman?
I see diapers in my future. Lots of 'em. Maybe I'll just wear them before bedtime. Who knows? I hate waking up and trucking across the room, across the hall, and going potty.
One day, I may just pee out the window.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
The ballsiest cover letter I've ever written.
Below is a cover letter I recently wrote to apply for a job I'm very interested in. I don't know what came over me when I wrote this, however; this might be the finest cover letter in the history of cover letters.
I've removed the company's name and replaced it with my favorite kind of sandwich.
-----
Hello,
I can't help but get excited about this cover letter. It's not often that I get thrilled about writing these. Usually, one relies on the standard "Hello, this is information about myself" stuff, however; I feel the need to be myself here. I love the approach of bologna and cheese sandwich. I love the concept. I took a look at the site and knew that this is a place where my writing could be featured. I've attached some of my published works, including a semi-autobiographical tale of my attempt to pick up two women in a bar near Central Park.
I feel like I'm perfect for this position, in that my writing flows in a similar manner to some of the articles I took a look at. Very witty, funny, yet interesting at the same time.
I've been freelancing since graduating from college, and while I love the companies and bosses I work for, I would much prefer something a tad more steady. I'm engaged, and while traditionally, planning a wedding falls on the lady in the relationship, I 'd like to take the reigns a bit more.
I also have a blog I update every day, on top of the freelancing. It's just something I write for fun, to keep myself sharp when the gigs are dried up.
You mentioned in the ad that I should include a salary requirement. At my previous full-time job (with a local sports team), I was making $27,000, which was fine.
Bottom line, I would love to write for your site. I would love to wear a lot of hats. I own quite a few. I could always use a few more.
Even if it's a "No thank you", I hope to hear from you.
Thank you very much,
- Robert P. Ottone
------
I truly hope to hear back. If they write back something funny, I'll post it here.
I've removed the company's name and replaced it with my favorite kind of sandwich.
-----
Hello,
I can't help but get excited about this cover letter. It's not often that I get thrilled about writing these. Usually, one relies on the standard "Hello, this is information about myself" stuff, however; I feel the need to be myself here. I love the approach of bologna and cheese sandwich. I love the concept. I took a look at the site and knew that this is a place where my writing could be featured. I've attached some of my published works, including a semi-autobiographical tale of my attempt to pick up two women in a bar near Central Park.
I feel like I'm perfect for this position, in that my writing flows in a similar manner to some of the articles I took a look at. Very witty, funny, yet interesting at the same time.
I've been freelancing since graduating from college, and while I love the companies and bosses I work for, I would much prefer something a tad more steady. I'm engaged, and while traditionally, planning a wedding falls on the lady in the relationship, I 'd like to take the reigns a bit more.
I also have a blog I update every day, on top of the freelancing. It's just something I write for fun, to keep myself sharp when the gigs are dried up.
You mentioned in the ad that I should include a salary requirement. At my previous full-time job (with a local sports team), I was making $27,000, which was fine.
Bottom line, I would love to write for your site. I would love to wear a lot of hats. I own quite a few. I could always use a few more.
Even if it's a "No thank you", I hope to hear from you.
Thank you very much,
- Robert P. Ottone
------
I truly hope to hear back. If they write back something funny, I'll post it here.
Friday, January 28, 2011
The Life Of A Writer ...
Who comes up with the most pretentious titles imaginable? This guy.
This really has almost nothing to do with the so-called "Life Of A Writer", so much as it does with An Unemployed Writer Who Only Wants To Write But Can't Because There's No Money In It.
I recently joined a freelance writing site, and the bids for jobs that I would do are astoundingly high. Even when I try to undercut my fellow unemployed writers by taking a few hundred dollars off the lowest bid, I can't because there are apparently rules to bidding.
Every day, I sit at this desk, write (various things; scripts, video game freelance work, etc.) and I stare at this (poor quality picture ahead):
That's a bottle of antacids next to stacks of books that are supposedly geared toward helping me sell my screenplays. And Watchmen by Alan Moore.
Spoiler Alert: They don't work.
This really has almost nothing to do with the so-called "Life Of A Writer", so much as it does with An Unemployed Writer Who Only Wants To Write But Can't Because There's No Money In It.
I recently joined a freelance writing site, and the bids for jobs that I would do are astoundingly high. Even when I try to undercut my fellow unemployed writers by taking a few hundred dollars off the lowest bid, I can't because there are apparently rules to bidding.
Every day, I sit at this desk, write (various things; scripts, video game freelance work, etc.) and I stare at this (poor quality picture ahead):
Spoiler Alert: They don't work.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Saving "Reach"!
Last night, I made it a semi-late night after having dinner with my beautiful fiance and our friend Ryan, who is a fantastic vocalist, dancer, and performer. We played some games, Karaoke Revolution, for example.
The turning point of the night, however; was when Ryan admitted he was a "Halo" virgin. Not accepting this, I popped in Halo: Reach, arguably the best game in the franchise. We made it through a bunch of levels, Ryan getting progressively better (he's a fairly vicious sniper, I must say), until finally, with exhaustion, we gave up right as The Covenant began striking back at the UNSC's facilities on Reach, much to Jorge's dismay.
Oh, Jorge. I love you.
Anyways, it was nice popping Ryan's gaming cherry. He's a solid player, and hopefully, we'll be able to finish the campaign together.
The turning point of the night, however; was when Ryan admitted he was a "Halo" virgin. Not accepting this, I popped in Halo: Reach, arguably the best game in the franchise. We made it through a bunch of levels, Ryan getting progressively better (he's a fairly vicious sniper, I must say), until finally, with exhaustion, we gave up right as The Covenant began striking back at the UNSC's facilities on Reach, much to Jorge's dismay.
Anyways, it was nice popping Ryan's gaming cherry. He's a solid player, and hopefully, we'll be able to finish the campaign together.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
The Company Men ...
The Company Men
Written and Directed by John Wells
This movie pulled me in different ways. On the one hand, I adore the cast. On the other, I hate corporate stooges. Which is what everyone in this movie is. Except for Kevin Costner, who is a blue-collar hero in the truest sense, a role he should play more often.
I found myself simply not caring about any of these somewhat selfish men in suits. These are the enemy, as far as I'm concerned, and while that is purely my hippy side coming out and raging against Corporate America, I am also jealous of the things these guys have. Porches. Huge houses. High-paying jobs.
I'm a writer, for God's sake. Unless I come up with something that makes me the next Stephen King, I'm always going to be middle of the road, money-wise. Right now, my job situation sucks, so my complete lack of care that Ben Affleck, with his $850,000 house and Porsche has lost his job means nothing to me.
Another character, Chris Cooper, a 30-year corporate vet, loses his job and is facing difficult monetary times. If you work somewhere for thirty years and are living beyond your means without a few years of cushion to help you should you find yourself expendable, then that's your problem, I'm sorry.
Finding jobs is not easy. This movie points that out. I'd give anything to have had my beautiful fiance' with me to show how shitty the job market is right now, if only to get her to understand what I go through every day. I would never compare my abilities to that of someone as highly trained as Ben Affleck's character and his MBA and 12 years of corporate experience, however; I can relate to the young guys trying to make their way.
It's hard for me to rate this movie. My knee-jerk, anti-corporate reaction is to pan it, but the acting and overall story is fantastic.
I'll go middle of the road and hand it three out of five stars.
Written and Directed by John Wells
This movie pulled me in different ways. On the one hand, I adore the cast. On the other, I hate corporate stooges. Which is what everyone in this movie is. Except for Kevin Costner, who is a blue-collar hero in the truest sense, a role he should play more often.
I found myself simply not caring about any of these somewhat selfish men in suits. These are the enemy, as far as I'm concerned, and while that is purely my hippy side coming out and raging against Corporate America, I am also jealous of the things these guys have. Porches. Huge houses. High-paying jobs.
I'm a writer, for God's sake. Unless I come up with something that makes me the next Stephen King, I'm always going to be middle of the road, money-wise. Right now, my job situation sucks, so my complete lack of care that Ben Affleck, with his $850,000 house and Porsche has lost his job means nothing to me.
Another character, Chris Cooper, a 30-year corporate vet, loses his job and is facing difficult monetary times. If you work somewhere for thirty years and are living beyond your means without a few years of cushion to help you should you find yourself expendable, then that's your problem, I'm sorry.
Finding jobs is not easy. This movie points that out. I'd give anything to have had my beautiful fiance' with me to show how shitty the job market is right now, if only to get her to understand what I go through every day. I would never compare my abilities to that of someone as highly trained as Ben Affleck's character and his MBA and 12 years of corporate experience, however; I can relate to the young guys trying to make their way.
It's hard for me to rate this movie. My knee-jerk, anti-corporate reaction is to pan it, but the acting and overall story is fantastic.
I'll go middle of the road and hand it three out of five stars.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Game Dev Story ...
So video games are important to me. I've mentioned this before.
Game Dev Story is a game for the iPad, iPod Touch (my platform), iPhone, and Android that is all about running a video game company. Here's a video review from two tools.
I have spent hours in this game, building a company with the ridiculous name Ape USA Studio (very influenced by these guys), my company initially focused on making shooter games starring robots in a dystopian future, then moved into the handheld sector, creating casual games for all ages to pick up and play, while also releasing the occasional action/rpg/shooter game starring Samurais, Robots, Ninja, or Pirates.
You'll never understand how much fun this game is, so I suggest trying out the "Lite" version first. The game only costs around three or four bucks, and already, I've played it more than some of my 360 games. It's truly a phenomenal game with a lot of love poured into it's creation.
I never thought I'd pimp an iPod Touch game. Jeez.
Game Dev Story is a game for the iPad, iPod Touch (my platform), iPhone, and Android that is all about running a video game company. Here's a video review from two tools.
I have spent hours in this game, building a company with the ridiculous name Ape USA Studio (very influenced by these guys), my company initially focused on making shooter games starring robots in a dystopian future, then moved into the handheld sector, creating casual games for all ages to pick up and play, while also releasing the occasional action/rpg/shooter game starring Samurais, Robots, Ninja, or Pirates.
You'll never understand how much fun this game is, so I suggest trying out the "Lite" version first. The game only costs around three or four bucks, and already, I've played it more than some of my 360 games. It's truly a phenomenal game with a lot of love poured into it's creation.
I never thought I'd pimp an iPod Touch game. Jeez.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Fuku-San!
There was a time where I didn't play video games. That time existed in high school and lasted a few years. I had played video games my entire life, and yet, I wasn't into them anymore. I started with simplistic computer games, moves onto an Atari (my brother and sister's Atari, mind you), then it was Nintendo, Sega Genesis, Super Nintendo, Playstation, Nintendo 64. It was around this time, the Playstation 2 dropped and I lost interest.
I can't say why exactly. It just seemed silly to me at the time. Video games were kids' stuff, right? It was 1999 or so, and I didn't give a damn anymore. Sega was about to unleash the greatest video game system of all-time on our collective asses, on 9/9/99, no less, and I still didn't care.
At this time, I coming into my own with my literary and film-land heroes. David Lynch and Bret Easton Ellis were taking up my brain space and names like Hideo Kojima and Shigesato Itoi didn't mean much to me anymore.
At a friend's house one day, when the Dreamcast was on it's way out, sometime in 2001 (pre-9/11, mind you), I played this famous Sega system. The game was Crazy Taxi, a masterwork of racing and excitement that still gets my blood pumping when I happen to flip the Dreamcast on and play it, hearing Offspring blasting through my television speakers. I even dyed my hair green, that's how obsessed I became with this game. It's hero, Axel, was like a god to me. I don't know why. He would be my first video game man-crush.
The Dreamcast was my reintroduction to the world of gaming. The system was dying, however; and would soon see its games drying up, as well as seeing third-party support vanish. A shame, really, because the system did every genre justice. The 2K sports games were revolutionary on the Dreamcast, as were so many 2-D fighting games, like my all-time favorite, Street Fighter.
In reality, though, it was one game that would become one of my three all-time favorites. That game was called Shenmue. There wasn't a single thing wrong with the game, though, of course, many would find faults with it years after release. The game was cinematic in a way no other game has been since. The music was pure magic. I make this promise now, should I ever be given a sum of money to make any kind of film or piece of entertainment I desire, I promise it'll be a Shenmue film.
The story is simple, really, a young kung-fu expert's father is murdered by a mysterious assailant, who is seeking some kind of "mirror" that will be used to give him mystical abilities to make himself nearly immortal. That's the basic gist. Along the way, your lead character, Ryo, uncovers mysteries, gets into fights, gets a job, and swears vengeance for the death of his father. A simply perfect revenge story where the game ends on a massive cliffhanger.
A sequel was released on the XBOX, but I never beat it. I don't know why. I'm a fool, I know.
Maybe one day, we'll get the final installment to the Shenmue franchise, Maybe Ryo will avenge his father. Maybe he'll become a victim, as well, in a beautiful twist of fate by Yu Suzuki, creator of the game.
So, thanks to Shenmue, my thirst for video games was renewed. An epic, cinematic journey from a small city in Japan to China. I promised myself that one day, I would visit the real region that Ryo Hazuki is from. I would set foot in a traditional dojo. I would attempt a move he makes. Any move. It doesn't matter which.
I'm such a geek for this game, it's unbearable. I'd even want the hero's leather jacket, if I could get it.
I could always make one, like this dude.
Oh Shenmue, you ruined me.
I can't say why exactly. It just seemed silly to me at the time. Video games were kids' stuff, right? It was 1999 or so, and I didn't give a damn anymore. Sega was about to unleash the greatest video game system of all-time on our collective asses, on 9/9/99, no less, and I still didn't care.
At this time, I coming into my own with my literary and film-land heroes. David Lynch and Bret Easton Ellis were taking up my brain space and names like Hideo Kojima and Shigesato Itoi didn't mean much to me anymore.
At a friend's house one day, when the Dreamcast was on it's way out, sometime in 2001 (pre-9/11, mind you), I played this famous Sega system. The game was Crazy Taxi, a masterwork of racing and excitement that still gets my blood pumping when I happen to flip the Dreamcast on and play it, hearing Offspring blasting through my television speakers. I even dyed my hair green, that's how obsessed I became with this game. It's hero, Axel, was like a god to me. I don't know why. He would be my first video game man-crush.
The Dreamcast was my reintroduction to the world of gaming. The system was dying, however; and would soon see its games drying up, as well as seeing third-party support vanish. A shame, really, because the system did every genre justice. The 2K sports games were revolutionary on the Dreamcast, as were so many 2-D fighting games, like my all-time favorite, Street Fighter.
In reality, though, it was one game that would become one of my three all-time favorites. That game was called Shenmue. There wasn't a single thing wrong with the game, though, of course, many would find faults with it years after release. The game was cinematic in a way no other game has been since. The music was pure magic. I make this promise now, should I ever be given a sum of money to make any kind of film or piece of entertainment I desire, I promise it'll be a Shenmue film.
The story is simple, really, a young kung-fu expert's father is murdered by a mysterious assailant, who is seeking some kind of "mirror" that will be used to give him mystical abilities to make himself nearly immortal. That's the basic gist. Along the way, your lead character, Ryo, uncovers mysteries, gets into fights, gets a job, and swears vengeance for the death of his father. A simply perfect revenge story where the game ends on a massive cliffhanger.
A sequel was released on the XBOX, but I never beat it. I don't know why. I'm a fool, I know.
Maybe one day, we'll get the final installment to the Shenmue franchise, Maybe Ryo will avenge his father. Maybe he'll become a victim, as well, in a beautiful twist of fate by Yu Suzuki, creator of the game.
So, thanks to Shenmue, my thirst for video games was renewed. An epic, cinematic journey from a small city in Japan to China. I promised myself that one day, I would visit the real region that Ryo Hazuki is from. I would set foot in a traditional dojo. I would attempt a move he makes. Any move. It doesn't matter which.
I'm such a geek for this game, it's unbearable. I'd even want the hero's leather jacket, if I could get it.
Oh Shenmue, you ruined me.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
More like Anne Hag-A-Way?
Anne Hathaway is supposedly playing Catwoman. Catwoman, a super heroine who is busty, sexy, and all-around juicy, to be played by a waif with the largest mouth this side of Julia Roberts.
This doesn't work for me. I said the same thing when this guy was cast to play this guy, and while I was absolutely wrong on this subject, I still stand by my trepidation.
I launched "The Heath Ledger" experiment to document my findings in regard to determining whether the late Ledger would be a solid Joker, the Clown prince of Crime. I ended up finding that he would be fine. In reality, he turned out to be incredible.
Maybe Anne Hathaway, someone who's past has crossed with Ledger (she was in Brokeback Mountain) will bring the same veritas to the role, but I still have my doubts. Her acting ability is "solid", however; she's just not sexy enough.
That said, Tom Hardy is too sexy to play Bane, so, whatever. This cast baffles me.
This doesn't work for me. I said the same thing when this guy was cast to play this guy, and while I was absolutely wrong on this subject, I still stand by my trepidation.
I launched "The Heath Ledger" experiment to document my findings in regard to determining whether the late Ledger would be a solid Joker, the Clown prince of Crime. I ended up finding that he would be fine. In reality, he turned out to be incredible.
Maybe Anne Hathaway, someone who's past has crossed with Ledger (she was in Brokeback Mountain) will bring the same veritas to the role, but I still have my doubts. Her acting ability is "solid", however; she's just not sexy enough.
That said, Tom Hardy is too sexy to play Bane, so, whatever. This cast baffles me.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Thanks for the book, now my table is steady!
There was a show called "The Walking Dead", which everyone got hard for, mostly because it had zombies in it. I love zombies as much as the next schmuck, however; this show didn't work for me overall. I realize it ended a while back, but I just wanted to get my feelings out there on this subject. "The Walking Dead" comic book is weak. The show is just about as weak. Now, there's going to be a video game.
The problem with zombies is that there are only so many stories we can watch about the deterioration of society with only so many variations and takes on a theme. How many more times can we watch people tear up and lose themselves in the face of apocalypse. It's the new 9/11 allegory and it's lame. After all, zombie films reached their peak with Day of The Dead, the greatest zombie masterpiece of all-time. And if there's any itching for a zombie game, there's Left 4 Dead and it's sequel.
The reorganizing of my dvd collection today was a fiasco. I have too many, it's unbelievable. At least over two thousand, for sure.
Ugh, the price of loving film.
The problem with zombies is that there are only so many stories we can watch about the deterioration of society with only so many variations and takes on a theme. How many more times can we watch people tear up and lose themselves in the face of apocalypse. It's the new 9/11 allegory and it's lame. After all, zombie films reached their peak with Day of The Dead, the greatest zombie masterpiece of all-time. And if there's any itching for a zombie game, there's Left 4 Dead and it's sequel.
The reorganizing of my dvd collection today was a fiasco. I have too many, it's unbelievable. At least over two thousand, for sure.
Ugh, the price of loving film.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Welshmen everywhere!
I've been writing a lot lately, and it has amounted to a video game proposal, and multiple articles and blogs. I haven't done any writing for myself in a while. While this blog is certainly for me, it's for anyone who reads and subscribes, as well. Typically, my screen and stage writing is for me.
I haven't written either in a while. I made a pledge that I would have two complete scripts finished by Summer of this year, and I will absolutely meet that deadline, considering one script has been finished forever, and the other is about 90-pages deep.
I feel like I bore the piss out of people when I write about writing, but I guess it's no different than someone writing about drawing or painting, except I can't share my pieces with anyone until I copyright them.
My video game proposal is something that keeps rolling around in my head, and it excites me a great deal. I see it as a multiple-platform experience, meaning not simply XBOX 360 or PC, but also an on-line, website-based experience. An interactive comic or short film used as promotion for the game, for example. I wish I was more of a one-man band, not having to rely on others to do artwork and programming, however; I know jack shit about that.
I posted a pseudo-ad on Facebook looking for artists, obviously culling my friends and their potential artistic ability. That said, the game is a long way from being published, however; I feel that this is something that can be made cheap, and bring in a lot of attention for it's simple and refreshing approach to an old genre. It's a horror game, but not gory. That's all I can say.
Anyways, potential artists on here, feel free to message me about doing some work for the game. I can't pay right now, but if money rolls in, of course, you'll receive payment then.
I haven't written either in a while. I made a pledge that I would have two complete scripts finished by Summer of this year, and I will absolutely meet that deadline, considering one script has been finished forever, and the other is about 90-pages deep.
I feel like I bore the piss out of people when I write about writing, but I guess it's no different than someone writing about drawing or painting, except I can't share my pieces with anyone until I copyright them.
My video game proposal is something that keeps rolling around in my head, and it excites me a great deal. I see it as a multiple-platform experience, meaning not simply XBOX 360 or PC, but also an on-line, website-based experience. An interactive comic or short film used as promotion for the game, for example. I wish I was more of a one-man band, not having to rely on others to do artwork and programming, however; I know jack shit about that.
I posted a pseudo-ad on Facebook looking for artists, obviously culling my friends and their potential artistic ability. That said, the game is a long way from being published, however; I feel that this is something that can be made cheap, and bring in a lot of attention for it's simple and refreshing approach to an old genre. It's a horror game, but not gory. That's all I can say.
Anyways, potential artists on here, feel free to message me about doing some work for the game. I can't pay right now, but if money rolls in, of course, you'll receive payment then.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Why cartoons are my CNN ...
Growing up, I adored a handful of cartoons. They were GI Joe, Transformers, TMNT, and The Super Mario Brothers Super Show (starring Captain Lou Albano).
As I grew up, my tastes shifted more towards super-hero centric stuff. Spider-Man, X-Men, and the greatest cartoon ever created, Batman: The Animated Series. I never knew that I would eventually meet the creative forces behind the cartoon, around 20 years after the cartoon was created.
I guess I look at cartoons nowadays and wonder what kids are taking away from these shows. Anything not on Cartoon Network, Nickelodeon, or Disney seems very Japanese and boring to me. CN does an amazing job of creating material for both children and adults to enjoy. For example, Adventure Time, the best cartoon on the planet today. Honorable mentions go to Regular Show and Phineas And Ferb, two cartoons both for kids, but easily accessible by adults.
I think it's important to bring the entire family into the entertainment sphere. While I get that the latest Pixar movie is dazzling for children, but full of "meaningful" messages for adults, it shouldn't have to be that way. Parents should enjoy the entertainment their kids enjoy, regardless of it being "valuable" to that parent's agenda or not.
As a kid, I guess my love for animation was fueled by these two computer programs: X-Men Cartoon Maker and Spider-Man Cartoon Maker. These were impossibly fun to use in order to tell my own stories with those characters. I would usually pit Spider-Man against his deadliest foe, the Green Goblin (I believe I had to use Hobgoblin as a stand-in, because GG wasn't in the program). I think nowadays, I'd be embarrassed by these early "movies", but at the same time, slightly proud that I had an outlet for my creativity.
I wish more kids had outlets like that.
As I grew up, my tastes shifted more towards super-hero centric stuff. Spider-Man, X-Men, and the greatest cartoon ever created, Batman: The Animated Series. I never knew that I would eventually meet the creative forces behind the cartoon, around 20 years after the cartoon was created.
I guess I look at cartoons nowadays and wonder what kids are taking away from these shows. Anything not on Cartoon Network, Nickelodeon, or Disney seems very Japanese and boring to me. CN does an amazing job of creating material for both children and adults to enjoy. For example, Adventure Time, the best cartoon on the planet today. Honorable mentions go to Regular Show and Phineas And Ferb, two cartoons both for kids, but easily accessible by adults.
I think it's important to bring the entire family into the entertainment sphere. While I get that the latest Pixar movie is dazzling for children, but full of "meaningful" messages for adults, it shouldn't have to be that way. Parents should enjoy the entertainment their kids enjoy, regardless of it being "valuable" to that parent's agenda or not.
As a kid, I guess my love for animation was fueled by these two computer programs: X-Men Cartoon Maker and Spider-Man Cartoon Maker. These were impossibly fun to use in order to tell my own stories with those characters. I would usually pit Spider-Man against his deadliest foe, the Green Goblin (I believe I had to use Hobgoblin as a stand-in, because GG wasn't in the program). I think nowadays, I'd be embarrassed by these early "movies", but at the same time, slightly proud that I had an outlet for my creativity.
I wish more kids had outlets like that.
Monday, January 17, 2011
January Jones And Her Golden Globes!
I never found that January Jones chick to be attractive until I saw her on the Golden Globes last night.That said, she's supposed to be playing The White Queen in the new X-Men movie. She'll be pretty perfect.
And now ... JERRY RICE AND NITUS' DOG FOOTBALL! This game looks impossibly fun. I can't help but be excited about playing a fun football game starring pups.
Going back to the Golden Globes, I wasn't really surprised to see David Fincher win best director, which is an award he earned with Zodiac, but never received. I've never seen The Social Network, so I don't know if it'll win best picture, however; last year, Avatar won best picture at the Golden Globes, and The Hurt Locker won best picture at the Oscars. Two very different award shows.
These award shows are my Super Bowl. I don't care about sports as much as I used to. That makes me not manly in any way, though I do enjoy going to games and stuff like that. For example, the Jets are doing well in football. I don't care. Football bores me to tears.
Nevertheless, I love movies. This is my Super Bowl!
And now ... JERRY RICE AND NITUS' DOG FOOTBALL! This game looks impossibly fun. I can't help but be excited about playing a fun football game starring pups.
Going back to the Golden Globes, I wasn't really surprised to see David Fincher win best director, which is an award he earned with Zodiac, but never received. I've never seen The Social Network, so I don't know if it'll win best picture, however; last year, Avatar won best picture at the Golden Globes, and The Hurt Locker won best picture at the Oscars. Two very different award shows.
These award shows are my Super Bowl. I don't care about sports as much as I used to. That makes me not manly in any way, though I do enjoy going to games and stuff like that. For example, the Jets are doing well in football. I don't care. Football bores me to tears.
Nevertheless, I love movies. This is my Super Bowl!
Sunday, January 16, 2011
You're cool, stay that way ...
My fiance is yapping in my ear while I write this.
Tonight, I plan to subject her to Band Of Brothers as my movie pick. It should be glorious! I have a suspicion that she'll like it. Anyone who doesn't is a commie or a Nazi.
She's reading recipes out of the new Weight Watchers book she bought today. Things that sound delicious.
"Jerk chicken looks gross." - Emily
"Jerk chicken is delicious." - Me. Followed by a swift slap to her face.
Part of that last bit was a joke. You decide which part.
I restarted another playthrough of Mass Effect the other day in anticipation of the new DLC that is going to drop soon. I'll be damned if, four years after release, I'm not still finding new things in that game that blow my mind to smithereens. I can't stop gushing about it.
Of course, this will be followed by a playthrough of its slightly superior sequel, Mass Effect 2. That trailer, by the way, is probably one of the greatest trailers to any piece of media you will ever see. Shame on you if you don't dedicate two minutes to watching it.
I was disappointed to see that Edge Magazine didn't rank "Decay" on its' list of the best XBOX Live Indie Games. I was really pissed about it, actually, mostly because I've been fortunate enough to work on the game along with the talented Swedish gentlemen at Shining Gate Software.
I guess I shouldn't be bothered. In the end, it's journalism and reviewing, and reviews aren't always going to be favorable. That said, the "Decay" series has remained steadily entrenched in the top 50 games, ratings-wise, as well as in popularity, for a long time. I should put more stock in actual gamers' opinions and ratings than in the journalistic hands of British game reviewers, whose opinions I value, though not to the extent of my fellow gamer.
*steps off soapbox, lights cigarette*
Tonight, I plan to subject her to Band Of Brothers as my movie pick. It should be glorious! I have a suspicion that she'll like it. Anyone who doesn't is a commie or a Nazi.
She's reading recipes out of the new Weight Watchers book she bought today. Things that sound delicious.
"Jerk chicken looks gross." - Emily
"Jerk chicken is delicious." - Me. Followed by a swift slap to her face.
Part of that last bit was a joke. You decide which part.
I restarted another playthrough of Mass Effect the other day in anticipation of the new DLC that is going to drop soon. I'll be damned if, four years after release, I'm not still finding new things in that game that blow my mind to smithereens. I can't stop gushing about it.
Of course, this will be followed by a playthrough of its slightly superior sequel, Mass Effect 2. That trailer, by the way, is probably one of the greatest trailers to any piece of media you will ever see. Shame on you if you don't dedicate two minutes to watching it.
I was disappointed to see that Edge Magazine didn't rank "Decay" on its' list of the best XBOX Live Indie Games. I was really pissed about it, actually, mostly because I've been fortunate enough to work on the game along with the talented Swedish gentlemen at Shining Gate Software.
I guess I shouldn't be bothered. In the end, it's journalism and reviewing, and reviews aren't always going to be favorable. That said, the "Decay" series has remained steadily entrenched in the top 50 games, ratings-wise, as well as in popularity, for a long time. I should put more stock in actual gamers' opinions and ratings than in the journalistic hands of British game reviewers, whose opinions I value, though not to the extent of my fellow gamer.
*steps off soapbox, lights cigarette*
Saturday, January 15, 2011
I can't be in love if it's plastic!
My fiance and I (before having an epic and tear-inducing argument, my tears, not hers, she's made of metal like a Terminator) saw Black Swan today.
The film is directed by geek favorite Darren Aronofsky, former husband to the delicious Rachel Weisz. This guy at one point was going to turn Batman: Year One into a film, and was the visionary who wanted Christian Bale as Bruce Wayne and Batman. He also made the amazing and startlingly beautiful The Fountain, starring Hugh Jackman.
Black Swan, a movie more famous for the sex scene between Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis, is absolutely incredible. Do not believe the hype that this is a drama. It is an unabashed horror film from the first reel to the last. I haven't been so tense or terrified while watching a movie as I was while watching this. Natalie Portman, while outstanding as Nina, our lead, seems a bit old for the part, or maybe the script is painting her as too young? I don't know anything about ballerinas other than they're all apparently built like 12 year old boys.
That said, Natalie Portman, Mila Kunis, Vincent Cassel, and Barbara Hershey (star of The Entity, the ghost-rape movie I watched about a week ago) are all phenomenal. It's really unbelievable the things that happen in this film.
If Inception hadn't come out this year, Black Swan would be my number one movie of the year. Without a doubt.
That said, it's my second favorite.
I give Black Swan five out of five stars.
The film is directed by geek favorite Darren Aronofsky, former husband to the delicious Rachel Weisz. This guy at one point was going to turn Batman: Year One into a film, and was the visionary who wanted Christian Bale as Bruce Wayne and Batman. He also made the amazing and startlingly beautiful The Fountain, starring Hugh Jackman.
Black Swan, a movie more famous for the sex scene between Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis, is absolutely incredible. Do not believe the hype that this is a drama. It is an unabashed horror film from the first reel to the last. I haven't been so tense or terrified while watching a movie as I was while watching this. Natalie Portman, while outstanding as Nina, our lead, seems a bit old for the part, or maybe the script is painting her as too young? I don't know anything about ballerinas other than they're all apparently built like 12 year old boys.
That said, Natalie Portman, Mila Kunis, Vincent Cassel, and Barbara Hershey (star of The Entity, the ghost-rape movie I watched about a week ago) are all phenomenal. It's really unbelievable the things that happen in this film.
If Inception hadn't come out this year, Black Swan would be my number one movie of the year. Without a doubt.
That said, it's my second favorite.
I give Black Swan five out of five stars.
Friday, January 14, 2011
"I'm eating your cookies, bitch."
Quote:
Me. To my fiance' via text message.
It reminds me of Daniel Day-Awesome from There Will Be Blood (which sucked, by the way, get over it).
I'm listening to a podcast. My first podcast ever. Rebel FM's podcast to be exact. Mentioned by my Texas twin, Julian. I find myself getting more and more swept up in the "gaming scene" or whatever. The desire to do a podcast myself is unbearable at this point. it would be an extension of this blog, weekly, maybe monthly, but I'd need someone else with me, as my head would explode from chatting. As would everyone else's.
Me. To my fiance' via text message.
It reminds me of Daniel Day-Awesome from There Will Be Blood (which sucked, by the way, get over it).
I'm listening to a podcast. My first podcast ever. Rebel FM's podcast to be exact. Mentioned by my Texas twin, Julian. I find myself getting more and more swept up in the "gaming scene" or whatever. The desire to do a podcast myself is unbearable at this point. it would be an extension of this blog, weekly, maybe monthly, but I'd need someone else with me, as my head would explode from chatting. As would everyone else's.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
In all seriousness ...
I know plenty of people who play video games. Some of them are older, some of them younger. Some are a little weird. Some are your neighbors(!). Some of them may even be you.
That said, none of these people I know have killed anyone. Nor have they blamed video games for their violent outbursts. Or movies. Or music.
I write about this, though it's been days since this maniac was caught, in an effort to vent. In college, the whole "do video games cause violence" debate was still hot. In recent years, its seemingly gone away, but now, thanks to this douche, its back. Some lawyer in Florida, I believe, is already looking to blame video games for inspiring this psycho to kill all those people and attempt to take down a politician in Arizona.
Remember Columbine? Video games, Marilyn Manson, and movies were blamed for this, as well. The fact that the two nuts who committed the act played a simulated Columbine "Doom" mod on their computers didn't help. They used whatever computer know-how they had to create hallways and levels of their school in a video game. Wow. That must mean the game caused them to do it.
All that shows is they had tech know-how.
Not too long ago, Rockstar Games released Bully, one of my all-time favorite video games. A microcosm of the life of a high-school kid, filled with cliques, hot girls, and teenage mayhem. The game was branded a "Columbine Simulator" by the government,and was protested even after the company (known for generating controversy with their Grand Theft Auto titles) screened the game for politicians and pointed out a lack of guns, death, and violence altogether.
That didn't stop the limitation of the game's sales overseas, however.
In a country where every show on late night television is about death, shootings, violence, and sexual attacks, are video games really the chief cause of aggression in young adults?
As a gamer, who has been defending the artistic merit of video games since junior high, I say absolutely not. Games are no more to blame than films.
Remember Virginia Tech? The asshole who shot that place up was a fan of another one of my favorite pieces of art, Oldboy, even going so far as to ape the main character's iconic image:
So I guess the general message we take from this correlation is that Oldboy, a movie about false-imprisonment and the revenge one man seeks after 15 years jailed for no reason led this maniac to shoot everyone at his college? Right.
People are so quick to blame anything over blaming the person in the mirror. Parents who pay no attention to their children who play Mature-rated games with sex and violence are more to blame than anyone else. Kids who sneak into R-rated films and are underage, who's fault is that? The theatre-owners.
It's not Hollywood or any other entertainment media's responsibility to police the content of their films. Do any of you know how strict the MPAA is? Why is violence less policed than nudity for some reason? What's wrong with the male or female form? Why is it so damaging for a young person to see two individuals, naked, having simulated sex, but its totally fine for a character to be pancaked by a pane of glass?
This debate is so bizarre to me. The ESRB and MPAA both exist to police entertainment that children and adults can enjoy. Parents who pay no attention to what their kids are doing are the villains here. Not the characters that child may want to emulate from the game or film they're watching.
I leave you all with this video. Fox News is already an established enemy, so this should surprise no one. But in this important video, on the topic of sexual intercourse in video games (another of my all-time favorite games, Mass Effect), we have champion of justice, Geoff Keighley defending one of the finest games ever produced against a panel of Fox News Retards. Enjoy!
Addendum:
I actually find myself sick to my stomach listening to these so-called Fox "experts" talk about Mass Effect. If people are so concerned with teenagers and young men learning negative female stereotypes, then why buy the game? Give your kid a Wii, condemn them to a life of boredom with a system that means nothing in the gaming landscape, and call it a day. You don't want your kid playing games or looking at material you find disturbing that could skew their vision of women, then don't buy those games. Take better care to learn about what your kid is doing. Do the policing yourself if you care.
Ugh, fuck Fox News. Fuck talking heads. Not the band Talking Heads, but the people on those shows.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Nuclear winter ...
There's a great Twilight Zone episode about a nuclear winter called "The Midnight Sun" that is about the fallout from a nuclear war between Russia and the United States plunging the country into a permanent state of winter. I always think of this episode when the snow is crazy high, as it is today.
At the same time, the roads are clear, so, was this a wasted day off for some people? Emily gets to catch up on Say Yes To The Dress, while I plug my headphones in and blast away at the keyboard.
I have a great deal that must be accomplished today. And wearing my Justice League pajama pants, I can accomplish this goal.
At the same time, the roads are clear, so, was this a wasted day off for some people? Emily gets to catch up on Say Yes To The Dress, while I plug my headphones in and blast away at the keyboard.
I have a great deal that must be accomplished today. And wearing my Justice League pajama pants, I can accomplish this goal.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
And float down Grand street ...
Matt and Kim are magic.
When I was younger, first discovering my love of writing, I had a giddy, almost silly feeling every time I put pen or pencil to paper, or keystroke to digital page. Recently, I've had that same tingly feeling whenever I write. The inspiration has been coming from everywhere, movies I watch, cartoons, music, everywhere.
People are usually quick to talk about inspiration. I've always wondered where ideas came from (for example, how did anyone come up with "Transformers"?), and who it was that initially was insane enough to think outside of that box. I'm not insane enough to imagine my Sentra exploding into a thousand moving metal pieces and pulling out a blaster rifle to fight my fiance's little green Scion.
I have heroes. Idols. Whatever you wish to call them. Some are dead. Some are alive and well and living all over this beautiful planet of ours.
I'll list a few of them, and hopefully, some of you will check them out. Some are writers, some filmmakers, comedians, social commentary people, etc.
1) Bret Easton Ellis - Author. The reason I started writing.
2) Matt Berry - Comedian. Writer. Actor. Proper English gentleman.
3) Tim Heidecker - Comedian. Writer. Actor.
4) Dave Goyer - Screenwriter. Go-to comic book adapter. That picture is fairly homoerotic.
5) Spalding Gray - Writer, genius. No longer with us.
6) Steven Spielberg - The most powerful guy on this list. If you don't know what this dude's credentials are, seek immediate help.
I'd keep going, but this will end up being picture after picture of people, as there are so many influences I can think of. More comedians, filmmakers, the occasional musician. They all matter, in the end, as they have all created pieces of art that have influenced millions.
When I was younger, first discovering my love of writing, I had a giddy, almost silly feeling every time I put pen or pencil to paper, or keystroke to digital page. Recently, I've had that same tingly feeling whenever I write. The inspiration has been coming from everywhere, movies I watch, cartoons, music, everywhere.
People are usually quick to talk about inspiration. I've always wondered where ideas came from (for example, how did anyone come up with "Transformers"?), and who it was that initially was insane enough to think outside of that box. I'm not insane enough to imagine my Sentra exploding into a thousand moving metal pieces and pulling out a blaster rifle to fight my fiance's little green Scion.
I have heroes. Idols. Whatever you wish to call them. Some are dead. Some are alive and well and living all over this beautiful planet of ours.
I'll list a few of them, and hopefully, some of you will check them out. Some are writers, some filmmakers, comedians, social commentary people, etc.
1) Bret Easton Ellis - Author. The reason I started writing.
2) Matt Berry - Comedian. Writer. Actor. Proper English gentleman.
3) Tim Heidecker - Comedian. Writer. Actor.
4) Dave Goyer - Screenwriter. Go-to comic book adapter. That picture is fairly homoerotic.
5) Spalding Gray - Writer, genius. No longer with us.
6) Steven Spielberg - The most powerful guy on this list. If you don't know what this dude's credentials are, seek immediate help.
I'd keep going, but this will end up being picture after picture of people, as there are so many influences I can think of. More comedians, filmmakers, the occasional musician. They all matter, in the end, as they have all created pieces of art that have influenced millions.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Fasting physical!
I have to fast for a physical tomorrow. That means no food after midnight (which is typically when we let it all hang out, after midnight, after midnight).
Yesterday was a Netflix holiday for me. I watched a total of three films, one of them being Emily's movie pick. She chose Moonlight Serenade, a movie with Amy Adams. Earlier in the day, I watched a terrifying ghost/demon movie entitled The Entity about a woman who is repeatedly, brutally raped by an unseen demon in her own home. It was basically Paranormal Activity twenty years or so earlier. Absolutely nightmarish.
There are a handful of movies that scare me so much to keep me up at night. The Exorcist, JFK, Clownhouse, and this one.
The last one I watched was Halo: Legends, based on the video game. It was awesome. A little too anime at points, and the films definitely played fast and loose with the timeline and history of the games, but the film, overall, is definitely worth watching. Especially for the more human-based tales like "Be Human".
In summation, unless you're a brave soul and can handle watching Barbara Hershey get raped repeatedly by an unseen force, I would avoid The Entity. Check out all the others, though, they work.
I'm going to be attempting some art today, in an effort to make a banner for this blog. If anyone has any artistic advice, feel free to chime in, or, if you're cool and want to make one yourself, by all means, go crazy.
Yesterday was a Netflix holiday for me. I watched a total of three films, one of them being Emily's movie pick. She chose Moonlight Serenade, a movie with Amy Adams. Earlier in the day, I watched a terrifying ghost/demon movie entitled The Entity about a woman who is repeatedly, brutally raped by an unseen demon in her own home. It was basically Paranormal Activity twenty years or so earlier. Absolutely nightmarish.
There are a handful of movies that scare me so much to keep me up at night. The Exorcist, JFK, Clownhouse, and this one.
The last one I watched was Halo: Legends, based on the video game. It was awesome. A little too anime at points, and the films definitely played fast and loose with the timeline and history of the games, but the film, overall, is definitely worth watching. Especially for the more human-based tales like "Be Human".
In summation, unless you're a brave soul and can handle watching Barbara Hershey get raped repeatedly by an unseen force, I would avoid The Entity. Check out all the others, though, they work.
I'm going to be attempting some art today, in an effort to make a banner for this blog. If anyone has any artistic advice, feel free to chime in, or, if you're cool and want to make one yourself, by all means, go crazy.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Velvet Pants ...
I don't like wearing pants. I feel that this almost-instantly disqualifies me for any stale office job that could be offered to me. Granted, if one must wear pants, I'll do it, however; under protest.
I don't know where this change happened. Perhaps while vacationing in Florida with my fiance', where I came to the realization that I prefer my legs to breathe, to have room, and to not feel anything close to sweaty (minus the occasion of swamp ass). Swamp ass, for all the ladies out there, is when a man's ass, connected to his grundle-region (or taint, as is the common nomenclature), find themselves resembling something not dissimilar to the southern Louisiana marshes.
Every guy has had this happen to them, so if any guy reading this says "Nope, not me." They are a liar. A filthy, sweaty-grundled liar.
Pants are just something I can live without in my life, especially after my Calvin Kleins ripped during work one day. A $90 pair of jeans that felt like I was wearing a cloud. Gone. Turned into a bingo bag for my aunt. The most expensive bingo bag ever made.
I can honestly see myself wearing shorts at my wedding. And a tropical shirt. Something like that. Maybe not the tropical shirt. Maybe no shirt at all, like my hero Gibby from iCarly.
Every once in a while, I feel the need to read a comic book. Most of the time, it's not superhero related, but occasionally, it is. Lately, I've been devouring Charles Burns' "Black Hole", a story set in the 70's, about STDs that cause insane bodily mutations. Equal parts scary, sad, and beautiful, the comic is really something special, so, anyone looking for a great read without all those bothersome chapters and words getting in the way, pick this comic up off Amazon for twelve bucks, like me.
Alright. Pants and comics. I'm going to finish my delightful oatmeal now.
I don't know where this change happened. Perhaps while vacationing in Florida with my fiance', where I came to the realization that I prefer my legs to breathe, to have room, and to not feel anything close to sweaty (minus the occasion of swamp ass). Swamp ass, for all the ladies out there, is when a man's ass, connected to his grundle-region (or taint, as is the common nomenclature), find themselves resembling something not dissimilar to the southern Louisiana marshes.
Every guy has had this happen to them, so if any guy reading this says "Nope, not me." They are a liar. A filthy, sweaty-grundled liar.
Pants are just something I can live without in my life, especially after my Calvin Kleins ripped during work one day. A $90 pair of jeans that felt like I was wearing a cloud. Gone. Turned into a bingo bag for my aunt. The most expensive bingo bag ever made.
I can honestly see myself wearing shorts at my wedding. And a tropical shirt. Something like that. Maybe not the tropical shirt. Maybe no shirt at all, like my hero Gibby from iCarly.
Every once in a while, I feel the need to read a comic book. Most of the time, it's not superhero related, but occasionally, it is. Lately, I've been devouring Charles Burns' "Black Hole", a story set in the 70's, about STDs that cause insane bodily mutations. Equal parts scary, sad, and beautiful, the comic is really something special, so, anyone looking for a great read without all those bothersome chapters and words getting in the way, pick this comic up off Amazon for twelve bucks, like me.
Alright. Pants and comics. I'm going to finish my delightful oatmeal now.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Where the streets are cleverly named ...
My kick-ass fiance recently started her own blog, all about wedding stuff. It's an interesting read, especially for those embarking down the road to matrimony, as we are.
The Road To Matrimony. That's a movie title, right there. Starring J. Lo and Owen Wilson or something.
This weekend is shaping up to be remarkably lazy. There is simply nothing on the docket for today, which is forcing me to raid FYE again, this time with Emily. My feeling is that we'll be aiming for Disney DVDs, ones for our future-spawn.
I also have a review for a movie that Jamie The Lawyer probably won't want to see.
Valhalla Rising
This was directed by one of my all-time filmmakers, Denmark's Nicolas Winding Refn, who made a film so beautifully brutal and majestic, filled with visual poetry, that it basically sealed my adoration of the director for the remainder of his or my life, depending on who goes first.
That movie was Bronson
The same adoration can be heaped upon Valhalla Rising, though, a portrait of life during the Crusades involving One-Eye, a slave/warrior embarking on a trip to "the Holy Land", which is really (spoiler) America, and finding himself in a true version of Hell, along with the child that has fed him and been his caretaker in his years as a slave.
I don't think I could watch another Crusades-era film and regard it the same as I do this one, simply because the level of brutality and insanity in this film most likely matches the level of brutality and insanity as the real time the film is set in. That last sentence was awkward.
Nevertheless, I am forced to give Valhalla Rising five out of five stars, as it's perfect. Brutal, unflinching, bloody perfect.
The Road To Matrimony. That's a movie title, right there. Starring J. Lo and Owen Wilson or something.
This weekend is shaping up to be remarkably lazy. There is simply nothing on the docket for today, which is forcing me to raid FYE again, this time with Emily. My feeling is that we'll be aiming for Disney DVDs, ones for our future-spawn.
I also have a review for a movie that Jamie The Lawyer probably won't want to see.
Valhalla Rising
This was directed by one of my all-time filmmakers, Denmark's Nicolas Winding Refn, who made a film so beautifully brutal and majestic, filled with visual poetry, that it basically sealed my adoration of the director for the remainder of his or my life, depending on who goes first.
That movie was Bronson
The same adoration can be heaped upon Valhalla Rising, though, a portrait of life during the Crusades involving One-Eye, a slave/warrior embarking on a trip to "the Holy Land", which is really (spoiler) America, and finding himself in a true version of Hell, along with the child that has fed him and been his caretaker in his years as a slave.
I don't think I could watch another Crusades-era film and regard it the same as I do this one, simply because the level of brutality and insanity in this film most likely matches the level of brutality and insanity as the real time the film is set in. That last sentence was awkward.
Nevertheless, I am forced to give Valhalla Rising five out of five stars, as it's perfect. Brutal, unflinching, bloody perfect.
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